Thursday, August 2, 2012

bring it on, Samantha Brick

*note: in the UK Down syndrome is referred to as Down's Syndrome

Samantha Brick admits that she would seriously consider aborting an IVF baby if she discovered that it had Down Syndrome
By Toni Jones

41-year-old Samantha Brick is desperate for a child.
Having tried to conceive naturally without success for four years her and her husband embarked on their first round of IVF treatment earlier this year.
The gruelling process has a very small chance of working for women over the age of 40.
Yet today the journalist told This Morning that if she does manage to conceive and then learns that the baby has Down's Syndrome she would seriously consider aborting it.

Last week the Daily Mail reported how dozens of IVF babies are being aborted because they have Down's Syndrome.

Despite spending thousands of pounds on trying to conceive many women are deciding to abort babies after learning that they will be born with the genetic condition, leading some anti-abortion campaigners to claim that they are treating babies like designer goods.

Is it right to choose the option of a termination after under-going such an emotional and physical treatment?

Samantha believes that it is totally justifiable.

She said:
'My husband and I have been trying for a baby for four years. It is not easy, all around me friends are conceiving and building up their families.
'Every month you hope for the miracle baby, and when that doesn't happen you just keep going and keep going.
'My first attempt at IVF failed and my husband I have discussed in depth and at length whether we could keep a baby diagnosed with Down's Syndrome.'

'I live in France, I know that people there don't have the same support, I would have to send my baby to a centre on Monday morning and then welcome them back on Friday night.'

'I already have a large family including ageing in laws with their own problems and so it's not just myself that I have to think about it is everyone else in the family and what the impact would be on them.'

Samantha also raised the issue of being an older parent to a Down's Syndrome child.
She says: 'I'm 41 now. What will happen to that child with Down's Syndrome if anything happens to me?'

'I'm not just having a glass of wine and deciding to terminate a baby.'

'It's a huge decision and one I wouldn't take lightly at all.'

'I actually think it would be selfish to HAVE that baby because of the impact on the local health services, the cost of raising that child and the support it would need.'

As a journalist, Samantha has spent four years researching the risks while she has been trying to get pregnant as an older mother, she says: '50-70 per cent of couples who have a child with a disability end up spitting up.
'I want to have a child with my husband because I love him, I'm really happily married and I can't forget him as a factor.
I would love to have a child but he has a right in this argument too.
I would hate to end up as that statistic.'

Talking exclusively to the MailOnline after the interview Samantha said: 'I absolutely stand by my comments and the position I took today. Far from being selfish, I believe I'm being selfless in putting the needs and wishes of those around me above my desire to be a mum.'

'Its important to honestly debate such a difficult issue especially as 9 in 10 women will terminate such a pregnancy.'

'My family and I have between us worked with hundreds of people with Downs Syndrome.'

 Let's stop 'Disneyfying' this genetic condition and ensure families, and potential parents, can debate and discuss and have the full unbiased facts of exactly what they're getting into.'


                                                    Bring it on, Samantha Brick. We welcome the discussion.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.


Mrs. K said...

That poor, poor woman! So uneducated. She would surely miss out on a WONDERFUL life.

Marci said...

I pray that Jesus gets ahold of her heart, and then her heart ahold of her brain.

Kiara Buechler said...

Lily is so beautiful, her smile warms me to my core.

cathy said...

Wow, I am speechless reading what she wrote---

amazing pictures, by the way ;)

Becca said...

First of all, let me just say that the photos in this post are *captivating.* Omg, can't get enough of your gorgeous girl, Patti. :-)

Second, I read that the other day and posted something on FB about it. As I wrote it, I was thinking about a very close friend of mine, who I've known for several decades. She feels the same way. I was hoping she wouldn't see that post I wrote, but she did, and brought it up to me in a phone call yesterday, saying we were all being judgemental. I find that attitude apalling, and completely selfish, and hate that it's a cloud that's hung over myself and my friend for the last few years, since she told me that while trying desperately, at the age of 42, to get pregnant again. Ugh. I suspect it'll continue to hang over us. So, so sad.

Danielle said...

choking back tears.. the pictures argue against every word she spoke/wrote. and of course knowing Lils in person knocks her words off the page. it breaks my heart. I wish she would hop on over to your blog and take a closer look.

i'm confused about the France/sending my baby off M-F thing - is she referring to some type of institution there?

Un-fancy Mama said...

Wow. I want to cry and to throw things at the same time. I feel like what people don't realize is that when you have a child with down syndrome you love them just as much (and maybe a teeny tiny bit more) than your typical children. Because they are YOURS. It is no longer a syndrome or a list of health problems but is a living breathing warm cuddly child. UGH. I hope she comes and looks at your beautiful Lily and her heart is softened. Gorgeous pictures.

eliz said...

Oh the joy she would miss IF God blessed her with a child with DS. A little piece of heaven.

Lora said...

Did she actually say "disneyfying"?!?! Ugh! Her words juxtaposed with photos of your beautiful girl just made me so sick to think people can STILL want to just abort these babies and worst of all think it is OK to do so!! I hope she will read your post and spend more time researching what children with DS CAN DO instead of focusing on her self. I wonder if her "aging parents" think it is ok for her to use them as an excuse to kill their unborn grandchild?!?!

Race Bannon said...

I think Elli's hair may have caught up to Lilly, did you cut it yet? I can't believe she is already in Algebra I...

my family said...

I dont even know what to write. the ignorance shows in each and every word. So close minded not even willing to think another way.This makes me ill.

...."you hope for the miracle baby"...sound like she is referring to "The perfect baby". Then she will want the "perfect" teen...good luck with that Mrs. Brick!

crystalkupper said...

Considering the earlier brouhaha surrounding Ms. (bright-as-a) Brick, perhaps it's just as well she's not receiving the blessing of a child!

Kathy McElhaney said...

This just brings a heaviness to my heart.

Some of the women in my family carry the gene that causes hemophilia. My beloved brother was born with it. He was the sunshine of our family for 31 years. Just as looking at pictures of Lily puts sunshine in my day. A "healthy" child doesn't come with any guarantees.

Elle's mommy said...

I agree with Marci... Oh how my heart aches...the thought of anyone terminating any pregnancy is just absolutely devastating to me. I did not get to spend my lifetime with my sweet baby girl and the fact that some people would choose that is beyond my comprehension. Thank you for posting...


Elizabeth Clark said...

Thank you for including the beautiful pictures of Lily and your family in this post. They totally showed (yet in a loving and gentle manner) that this woman's opinions are completely wrong.

Angel said...

Ugh. Seriously? So sad.

My Cooper's Down syndrome is a cake walk compared to his Crohn's disease (which has no connection with his Ds, BTW). I would take Ds a million billion times over any true medical problem.

Beautiful pics of your perfect little sweetie. Can't get enough of her! :)

Sabrina said...

How sad that people don't see that God didn't intend children to accessorize our lives...but to BLESS our lives.

The children He gives us are a blessing...why do so many people miss it? Sad.

Lyn n Brian said...

Samantha Brick is a parasitic attention seeker. We first heard of her a couple of months ago when she said she never had to buy drinks or meals anywhere as she is sooo attractive to men. Now maybe if she was a moose and the man had a shotgun (as her suffering French husband, Pascal often has on pictures) then she's "fair game". As for being gorgeous..... Well!
She calls herself a journalist but has only popped up in the Daily Mail and then UK television due to being controversial 3 times and I can't even remember the second "drama" and the 3rd on was Downs Syndrome, trying to be controversial once more.
Samantha Brick is detested by readers of the Mail and TV viewers and she's most commonly referred to as "that brick woman" or "the woman with a swinging brick instead of a heart". She doesn't deserve her IVF to work. If she wants perfection, choose a puppy OR buy one of those reborn dolls instead.
I understand it's upsetting for you, I'd adopt a downs baby if I knew anyone didn't "want it". I love children regardless. I have a large family aged from 9 into adulthood and I'm still trying at 41 and quite accepting that I may have a downs baby but I don't want any tests or to know anything seen on an ultrasound. If I'm lucky enough to have another baby, it'll be mine and my husbands and will receive so much love.
Please ignore the Brick woman no matter how much she hurts you. She has no fans over here in the UK.

Kimberly said...

"Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Sherrie said...

You could have stopped at picture number one :) There is no argument after Lilly! Or any of the other children I know with DS or my son who has DS. Really no argument stands in the face of such amazing wonderfulness, blessing and cuteness all wrapped up in a created by God designer gene! But the evidence of all those pics...just overwhelming. Impressive ...I guess a picture really is worth a thousand words!

Cindy said...

Oh man, this post regarding Samantha Brick really boils my blood. Perhaps, she should RETHINK her decision of trying to conceive and then "attempting" to raise that child...whether the child is DS or not. I could say so much, but that want matter, I'm sure her mind is made up as to how she will handle her "dilemma". Ugh! None of my kids were special needs; however I have 3 grandchildren [out of 14] with confirmed special needs. One of them has numerous conditions. One more grandchild is currently under evaluation and that one is living with me. Would their parents and/or I as their Nana throw them back into the sea of life because the world sees them as "different"? Not in one million years. No one, will ever be able to convince me that special needs children do NOT have the ear of God the Father! They have a distinct purpose on this Earth, and we're fortunate if we're blessed to have them as family, or to even know/love them. They reflect the kind of LOVE and acceptance that Christ would like us all to bestow on our fellow man. [just my opinion] BTW, Lily is more beautiful every time I see a new picture. God bless!

Alyssa said...

1. Lily is so beautiful! I love the photos.

2. I do not believe abortion is ever the best answer to any question, including the ones posed by Samantha Brick. do you address the very real concerns about the lack of support system that many parents have in place? I doubt you can really understand the concerns as you are blessed with TEN wonderful children. There are people waiting in the wings to fight over who will support Lily when you and Sam depart the earth. We are not all so lucky, and Samantha Brick surely is not.
My son with DS is less than two, and an only child. My husband and I are only children, and all our son's grandparents are already 65 or older. This means that by the time he is graduating high school they will be 85 or home in heaven. What is your real-life solution answer to someone like me as I agonize over the decision of whom to entrust my child to? Beautiful photos of your two year old daughter aren't going to solve my problem, or Samantha Brick's. This is exactly what she means by "Disney-fying" the condition. It DOES come with practical concerns, particularly once our children are older, and all the Kelle Hamptons and Patti Rices of the world can't fix those practical concerns with pretty pictures on a blog.
If your answer is "provide in your will for a long term care home, a group home or an institution," my response is this: atrocities happen in these types of places every day. These institutions are teeming with people who will abuse our precious children. NINETY PERCENT of our children will experience sexual or physical abuse, and probably 100% will experience emotional or financial abuse, most at the hands of "caregivers." The only hope any of our children have of being safe and healthy in this type of environment is to have a lot of involvement and oversight from a support system like family. But if he only goes there after his dad and I go home to God...who will look after him and make sure he's not being abused and taken advantage of?
You're so blessed not to be kept up at night by these types of questions. But can you provide a REAL answer of substance to the concerns of others?

Patti said...

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, and for sharing your very real concerns here. Your words sparked a very good conversation between a group of some of my friends who are also parents of children with Down syndrome.
We are going camping tomorrow for a week, but I would love to address this issue in an upcoming post, because I am sure you are not the only mama in this situation. I am assuming you would not mind me sharing your comment above in a future post? I think that this is a discussion that would be very helpful to have on Lily's blog. I hope you come back in a week or two to read my response. I'm praying for you, as I know these issues weigh heavy on your heart.
Much love,

Alyssa said...

Absolutely, Patti, please share it. The more people in the DS community think and speak about this issue, the better off the whole community will be.

Alyssa said...

Absolutely, Patti, please share it. The more people in the DS community think and speak about this issue, the better off the whole community will be.

Lyn n Brian said...

We don't agree with abortion (there are some awkward situations for example, after rape and we are on the fence regarding those) but if anyone should have been aborted, it should've been that brick woman who goes out of her way to cause anger, mental pain and anguish to a variety of people. I'm sure she must think "Who shall I hurt this month?"
Lily is beautiful and I'm trying to raise awareness of DS children (is that what you call them in the states?) We refer to them as Downs or Downs Syndrome. I've put some pictures on Pinterest and I hope people will love Downs kids as much as me.
My worry for Downs kids is them ending up institutionalised in the future but I have 6 children from 9-25 who would help should anything happen to myself and my husband. Sadly no pregnancy this month :-(

Anonymous said...

Every time I accidentally read anything Samantha Brick writes/excretes, a little bit of me wants to chew my own arm off in frustration. Please don't engage in a debate with her, you really do have so many better things to do with your life! (Also, the photos of Lily are gorgeous :))

Sophie x

Unknown said...

what self-righteous, self centred ignorance and rubbish! throwing in how she is 'helping the state by not bringing about health costs!!! i cannot catch my breath at this! how sad that her 'perfect world vision' has no place for love!!! little miss selfish watch out...your place is in jeopardy!