Or when you're sitting at church listening to a sermon and your four year old pulls your spare nursing pad out of your purse and waves it around asking "Can I have this??" ....for 15 seconds or so until you realize what he's waving? (not that I would know...)
This happens to me often as a blogger. Because honestly...confession time...I'm not a real blogger. I am a really good faker though, and sometimes I almost think I'm a real blogger. But then I read something online- like a really good article on "Why Header Design Matters" - and I realize maybe I'm not doing as great a job of faking it as I think I am.
Because my blog header has been bugging me for a loooong time, and I hope I was the only who who noticed it was always a little too square, always hanging-off-to-the-left instead of centered, and usually broke the (apparently) #1 rule of "don't blow all your above the fold (the area before you scroll) real estate on it." Oops.
And then yesterday, right after reading about how much my blog header stinks, I received the sweetest email from someone asking for blogging advice. (Kate, if you're reading this post, ignore the next few sentences). And I sort of cringed and thought: oh no. she thinks I'm a REAL blogger.
So I decided to enlist some help yesterday, and go to someone whom I consider a real blogger, to fix my header. Because whenever I go to read Krista Ewert's One Beautiful Life, I stop for at least a full minute before reading, just coveting my neighbor's property...her header is perfectly aligned, her layout is clean and organized, her photography is flawless. And her posts read like a well-written novel. And that's when I remember- ooooh that's right- Krista is a real blogger.
So yesterday, when I asked her what I was doing wrong with my header, and why it wouldn't stretch right, and how to make it stop hanging off to the side, Krista graciously agreed to help. And when I whined that I was trying to implement her sage advice, but nothing was working, she just politely asked me to send her my photo. And then she waved her magic real-blogger-fairy-wand over it, and voila. Header Heaven. (and yes, when I inserted the photo and hit "view blog" I did hear angels singing. Pinky promise.)
And in the three minutes that it took Krista to adjust my photo (and how she managed to duplicate my title font and exact color without me telling her, I do not know), I perused her blog. I admit that I've been a bit of a slacker lately when it comes to reading my favorite blogs. April really threw me for a loop, and I've been doing good just to keep my own blog up, but obviously I missed some really good posts. One of these posts really grabbed me- because Krista's thoughts and experiences so mirrored my own, only she articulated them so much better than I could. So rather than linking to her blog....because once you go there, you might forget to come back to fake-blogger's blog...I asked Krista if I could re-post her words here.
So here you go...a real blogger.
by Krista Ewert
Mothering a Child with a Disability: The Secret Thoughts on SpeechAs a mother of a child with a disability one of my greatest goals is to raise awareness. With 94% of women aborting pregnancies diagnosed with Down Syndrome I believe that if women only knew what a joy raising a child with Down Syndrome is, then maybe they would see in their womb, not just a life full of challenges and hardship but instead, a life worth living.The risk in this however, is that I write less for those who have chosen life, and while sharing the beauty of everyday with an extra chromosome, I fail to bring light to the inevitable frustrations and fears that are also part of life...every life. So last night when I spilled to my DS momma friends that I was frustrated with Ella's progress in the language department, I was called out on my fear to blog about such things. What if there are other mothers out there feeling the same way I do but are afraid to say anything? And like me, they just need a little validation and encouragement. So here it is....
Lately, every time a momma posts about their child's new word or how they call "Momma" from their crib or make animal sounds, basically anything speech related, my celebration with them is overshadowed by sadness. Not a tearful sadness but more like a grey cloud that lingers blocking the sunshine because I wish I could post the same about my Ella. I wish I could share a video on Bragbook displaying her latest and greatest language skills and prove to the world that she is defying statistics and is developing "normally" despite her diagnosis. When in reality, the gap is widening and development is so slow and I am becoming frustrated. Ella will be three in June, but if anyone asks, I say she is two and a half because I am afraid. I think that they think that she is younger because she doesn't talk and for some reason, I actually believe that people might not think that she has Down Syndrome.
And when I say she doesn't talk, what I mean is that she doesn't say words. She babbles and has her own variations on phrases but probably unrecognizable to anyone but Momma, who, in reality, doesn't have a name. Mothers! never complain that your child says "momma" too much and if I ever do, slap me and then remind me of today, when my heart is sad that my baby girl doesn't call me by name or anything else for that matter. Jakob is the only one that she has a sound for and it takes the form of "Ob".
But here's the kicker. She can make the sounds. She says "ma" often in her babble but when asked to say "mama" she blows a kiss and when asked what sound a cow makes, she gives a glottal roar....the same for every other animal.
In other areas Ella is doing well. Her receptive language is moderate and physically, I can't keep up. But speech, to me, is huge. I feel like it is a key to acceptance. Perhaps it is because, for myself, when I speak to a person with Down Syndrome and they respond with articulation and clarity, whether it be true or not, I feel that somehow it is a reflection of intelligence....now before you go and slam me for saying that, realize I am just admitting to my own stereotypes which, guess what, don't completely vanish the day you have a child with DS. So naturally, I feel that if she can speak well then she will not be judged as much, and will not have to work so hard to earn the respect of her peers and society as a whole.
But here is what I have to keep reminding myself and what so many wonderful ladies have reminded me of: these frustrations, these hardships, these hurdles only make the victories sweeter. It will come. It may not happen the way I want it to. We may have to work our butts off every day for YEARS but it will come....In His time.
|One thing is for certain: the girl has sass.|
Okay I lied. I'll send you to Krista's blog so you can become a follower - just don't forget to come back to my fake blog when you're done !
To visit Krista and her beautiful family.....
...hop on over to One Beautiful Life. And tell her I sent you ! :)