Monday, June 20, 2011

milestones and miracles

Dearest Lily,

Today was an emotional day. For many reasons, not the least of which was the roller coaster ride of adoption and foster care that your oldest brother Jason and his wife are on. It seems one moment a baby is within their reach, and we are all so happy and excited at the prospect of them being able to be the best parents any child could possibly have...and the next moment we get news that things have changed, and the waiting begins again.

And more than anything else, I want to give them that gift of being parents. More than anything, if I could wave a magic wand over the whole situation and make all their dreams come true, I would. But sometimes life, so we've learned, is not as easy as abracadabra. Sometimes waiting and the will of God go hand in hand, and while we may smile at each other and offer phrases like "God knows best" and "in His time"- in reality, we're all digging deep to make sure our faith is still intact, and praying hard for His grace to carry us through.

My little worries of a year ago seem pale in comparison to what others go through, and more than ever I find myself on my knees, asking God to bring the miracles that only He can.

And lately God seems to be showing me that although I look for big and extraordinary miracles in the seemingly overwhelming challenges in life, all around me are ordinary miracles, no less grand, but quietly pointing back to Him.

Things I took for granted before, that now take my breath away...little milestones once overlooked, now miracles in our eyes...

I've been a Christian for over half my life, dear Lily, and I still haven't figured it all out...the desires of our hearts and longing for things that sometimes seem just beyond our grasp, and prayer and the will of God and how it all fits together. But one thing I do know- they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

I'm still praying for those big miracles, still believing God with all my heart for Him to move some mountains in my life. But, as I read somewhere recently~ I am not going to allow the what-ifs to rob me of the joys of what-is.






And at the end of the day, when I consciously- deliberately- put my trust in God, thanking him for those miracles I see and believing Him for those I don't, I can rest in His perfect will.

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. 1Thessalonians 5:18

Loving you always,

Mama oxox


Education: Exploring Online Learning said...

She is previous, Patti.

Lily, thank you for me giving hope for all I'll be able to do! Love, Ellie

breedwoman said...

aw i love watching her take care of her baby! It's just like watching my Kinsley! She is doing so well and is beyond cute!

nicole said...

Oh Patti ~ I read Naomi's blog and surmised something didn't go as hoped for. When your child hurts, you hurt. Thank goodness they don't all hurt at once and you are able to find joy through Lily and her sweet antics. Praying for you all.

Unknown said...

Sweet, sweet post.
Thank you.

Ginger said...

How often we seek miracles, instead of seeking Him. If we only knew Him as he really is, we wouldn't seek anything else but His face and His glory.
Great reminder.

Unknown said...

I always love the verses you share and how they bring us back to the right place...listening to God's word. I will send up prayers for Jason and Naomi's journey to move towards parenthood because as we know this experience is awesome. Patience is one of the hardest things we can learn.
P.S. I am so proud of Lilly's accomplishments :)

Kelly Marin said...

Amen and Amen.

Ashley said...

I was so excited for Jason and Naomi :( I hope God brings them a miracle soon! I will be praying.
And as usual, I loved the pictures and videos. Lily is so beautiful :)

teal915 said...

LOVE the videos. She really could not be ANY cuter : ) Don't want to eat her up LOL. That's what I say about Kamdyn anyway. Lily is a few months ahead of Kamdyn, but I see a lot of the same mannerisms that Kamdyn does. Looking forward to seeing Kamdyn do all the things that Lily is. Funny how its not hard to wait anymore. It just happens when it happens. We are blessed, aren't we?

Heidi Ehle said...

GREAT JOB LILY!!!! You are such a big big girl!! :) I bet you are a very good mommy to your baby, since you are learning to be a mommy from YOUR mommy, who I bet is pretty awesome! :)

cathy said...

Oh Patti, you ARe blessed & enjoy the ordinary miracles of that which is Lily!

My heart aches for Naomi & Jason, we need to do something else for them


Gretchen said...

Oh my, that delicious smile at the 20 second mark MELTS MY HEART!

Anna Theurer said...

Yay Lily!!!! "dadadadada" and then sucking her thumb--so sweet! She is just darling in both photos and videos. Go Lily go!

Brandon said...

I remember when we first got word that Lily had DS. I remember trying to figure out and come to grasps with what that really meant. It didn't seem like anything too bad. I remember praying for little things, little miracles, and I look back on it now and think, "We didn't have anything to worry about." She just keeps going and moving on to the next step. And while I see the new challenges that come her way and pray about them, I also find myself at peace, because I know that God has his hand on this little girl and that she will be able to do it all. One of my favorite quotes is "The task ahead of you is never as great as the power behind you." There is nothing that can stand in this girl's way. I love you, Lily.

Sarah said...

I think it is a miracle how clean your floors are with 10 kids!!! I love the shots of Lily and the way you share!

Ilisa Ailts said...

Yes, we have to choose don't we?

cara said...

I LOVE when you post videos of Lily!!!! I just want to pick her up and hold her. She melts me. So exciting to watch all of her milestones. Her little personality reminds me of Benji.

This post was another post SO beautifully written ,Patti, and one of the many reasons I just LOVE your heart. I really love that- not going to let the what ifs rob me of the joys of the what is. And Lily is truly a miracle from God- a precious gift from our Father.

I am SO sorry about Jason and Naomi! My heart aches for them; I know God has a good plan for them- a future and a hope in Him. He will lead them to that perfect baby He has for them. We will keep praying. I cannot WAIT to see those pictures of them with a baby in their arms.

angie said...

So sorry to hear that Jason and Naomi are having a difficult time. When it all comes together, everyone will see God's wisdom, but in the meantime, it can be hard to trust. BUT, then you have your sweet Lily to remind you that God knows exactly what He is doing. Thanks for sharing the videos- they are absolutely precious, and they always make me smile.