Wednesday, October 2, 2013

apologies, thanks, and Rice Ranch Rules, oh my !!

First order of business - a HUMONGOUS thank you to Lori, Brenna, Bonnie, Marcia and Madae - YOU SAVED MY BACON !! I am forever grateful to you ladies for shopping Lily's Scentsy Store and helping me stay part of the team. I'm sure Chuck is thrilled as well, although I'm still waiting for his reply to my email...as well as my promotion. See this post to know what I'm referring to. teehee.

Second- YOU GUYS !!! Our p.o. box has been overflowing with gifts for our sweet and beautiful granddaughter, Norah Jane !!! Thank you thank you thank you for responding so kindly to her virtual baby shower !! We're hosting a live one at our house this Friday- I let Naomi open some of the packages early, as I just couldn't wait to see what she got :) She'll open the rest at her real baby shower...in the mean time, here's a sneak peek of the little princess wearing some of the gorgeous headbands you sent...




...is she not the CUUUUTEST little doll you've ever seen ?!?!?!?! Does every Nana think her grandkids are the most adorable kids on the planet ?!!!!

Okay, thirdly...apparently I caused some disgruntlement on my post why I homeschool my kids. And I may have made up that word, but that's what you get to do when you're a homeschool teacher - you get to make up your own words ! Anywho-  I did not in any way mean to disparage single moms by one poorly worded little paragraph. You can read the comment section if you want to see my explanation.

And just for the future- it is extremely hard to balance out everything I say in one blogpost. I write, for the most part, assuming people know what's in my mind and heart. So I don't always balance out what I'm saying or explain it further - thinking everybody knows I think single moms work their butts off, and most of them do an awesome job, right ? But apparently not everybody does know that. So please forgive me if you took that paragraph wrong...and thanks to the commenters who pointed out how that could have been taken the wrong way.

And also - apparently I haven't completely understood the term helicopter parenting. It does not mean this....






....because that is just called "airplane parenting". Actually, it's  called "airplane sibling-ing".

But it is also not the thing I thought it was...I thought it meant a get-in-your-business type of parent...but apparently it means one of those parents who follows their kids around the playground making sure they are not going to fall off anything, and if they do they will catch them immediately. And also the kind of parent who stomps into the classroom demanding the teacher changes little Johnny's grade because he (the parent!) worked very hard on it. Ha. So, NO - I don't want to be a helicopter parent.

Having said that - I AM a parent who...

a) goes through her children's emails regularly, making sure there are no inappropriate conversations going on

 b) raids her children's backpacks and drawers and iPods and twitter accounts making sure...well, see point a

c) gets in her kids' business when it comes to where they are going, who they are going with, when they are coming back, and what will be going on when they are gone.

Here is my governing philosophy, if you will :  if you live in MY home, every single thing you have in your possession is mine. You have absolutely no privacy, except for in the shower. Nothing is sacred, not even your underwear drawer. I will allow you to have an email or twitter or google-plus account on the condition that I have your password and you never ever switch it without telling me. The moment I discover something that violates our standards, that privilege is gone. Period. And if you ever break our trust, you have to EARN it back, which will be a long, slow, painstaking process. It can be done, and we will help you get there...but it is not a given. It is a privilege to live at The Rice Ranch, and you will treat it as such.

In exchange you get :




...my complete love and attention and respect. And an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, and I will stay up with you til 3:00 in the morning if you need to talk about anything. I will drive you to practices, cook you healthy meals, pray every single day for you, shower you with affection, stand up for you always, spoil you to death on holidays and your birthday, and eat all the chocolate you get on Halloween and Easter- because I'm awesome like that.

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal, does it not ?


So maybe my thighs will end up looking like these...






...but we will all get along well at The Rice Ranch if you obey the rules.






Okay, I think I've covered everything that I said wrong, and made amends, and thanked everyone - wait, did I thank Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid for shutting the government down ?? I DIDN'T ??? Well, thank you. Thank you very much ! Those employees will eventually get their paychecks- they truly will ! - and you guys can all figure out how to balance our national checkbook. Just like we all have to do ! How very good of you. Amen.


Okay, I'm sure there was something in that paragraph to offend someone, so maybe my next post can be a big apology to democrats, federal employees, and Nancy and Harry.  We shall see. In the mean time...






Happy Wednesday. Go hug a single mom, and tell her Patti sent you.


xoxoxox



26 comments:

Pink Slippers said...

You rock!

Runningmama said...

Awesome...and Norah is beautiful! I am finally back to blogging, hoping you will visit the old Living Life with E's at our new address www.myeverydaylove.com :-)

Krista said...

you're hilarious. Blessings,

Jenna said...

Amen, Amen, Amen. Wish more parents could get ahold of this.

Amy said...

We can't be friends if you apologize to Nancy & Harry ;).

Madae said...

You're very welcome! I've been reading your blog for awhile and am glad to help save your bacon. :)

Madae said...

You're very welcome! I've been following your blog for awhile and love reading about your family. I'm glad to have been able to help "save your bacon." I loved your response to the Chief Consultant.

Stori Wann said...

You're so funny. And you say it so well - the government shut down is not the problem - the problem is not having a budget and destroying our healthcare!!! That's a problem.

motherofangels said...

Loved this!!! Thanks for continued advice on how to raise an awesome family :)

motherofangels said...

Loved this!!! Thanks for continued advice on how to raise an awesome family :)

Stef said...

I love you, Patti!!

Stef said...

I love you, Patti!!

Leslie ward said...

I love and appreciate the Rice Ranch Rules...we definitely need more parents like you! May God continue to bless your awesome family! :)

Leslie ward said...

I love and appreciate the Rice Ranch Rules...we definitely need more parents like you! May God continue to bless your awesome family! :)

Race Bannon said...

SHUT IT DOWN! SHUT IT DOWN!

Thank you Harry Reid, thank you Mr. President - and all along, I thought you guys were for BIG GOVERNMENT. Do not get pushed around by those Tea Partiers who want to reduce the size of the Federal Government. Nothing better than shutting the whole thing* down!

KEEP IT CLOSED! KEEP IT CLOSED!




*by "whole thing" of course I mean 20% or so...

cathy said...

you keep being YOU!!
love you, girl!

xoxoxo
cathy

ps wish I could be at the shower

Jenny D. said...

As I'm sure you know but is not evident in your "haha-thanks-Nancy-and-Harry paragraph," the government shut down is not something to joke about and be taken lightly. As active duty military overseas we are feeling the effects of the shutdown in a huge way. While we will still get our paychecks, much of our post is shut down in lieu of this. Sports are cancelled, post offices closed, allowances for moving/temporary duty expenses are stopped. So while it may be a "good" thing in your eyes, for many of us, it's not.

Race Bannon said...

Jenny D

I'm sorry things are hard. I feel it too. However, the whole point of the paragraph you mention is EXACTLY who is responsible for this situation. The "good thing" that is sought, is not a lack of government, but a government that has money for the future to pay for our Military.

Katherine said...

I commented on your last post about the single mother thing. I know you don’t think single mothers are terrible parents, or not good enough for their children. And there is no doubt that a good male role model can have a positive impact on kids.
It just seemed as though you were implying that the particular boy in your story had behavior problems because he had a single mother. If he had a mom AND dad and acted that way, I doubt you would have mentioned anything about the parents: “There was a boy raised by his mother and father who exposed himself…” so why was it worth mentioning that he had a single mother?
I might not be explaining myself well, so I am sorry if this creates more confusion!

I do wish the wonderful little boy I nanny had a male role model in his life. He has met my boyfriend a few times and you can tell he really looks up to him and respects him.

Mariah said...

Amen, Patti! That is EXACTLY how we ran our household when the kids were living at home. And how we still run it with just each other too, for that matter. LOL Thank God for His wisdom! All glory to God that all three of my kids are saved today, and not just saved, but doing exactly what God wants them to do with their lives. Re the shutdown: one of the guys in our church (we are on the edge of DC, right in Obama's backyard) holds a government position and was sent home yesterday. He mentioned that it's like the government ran up a credit card bill and then said, "Oh, sorry, we can't pay that. Oh well." Come, Lord Jesus.

Mariah said...

Love that blanket, by the way! ;-)

MamaV said...

Wondering about the gvt shutdown (and yes, I think that governments need to learn to budget like the rest of us, for heaven's sake)... Do you think it will affect USCIS? We just got our adoption paperwork in to them...

Faith Kopp said...

Just want to comment on that last picture. Woke up to it this morning on my phone and it immediately set my day down the happy trail. Hayden looks like he was surprised to be caught chewing on his toy. Love those wide eye smiles. xoxoxoxoxo

Megan said...

Oh I could just eat Norah up. Those headbands (and that hat!) are so adorable. Precious little thing. And Hayden has such an infectious smile. I don't know how you ever put him down.

I'm torn on the whole shutdown. Since it's not directly affecting me (yet...), I don't have as much to worry about. However, I do know plenty of people who were given furlough notices (my almost step-father included) and I can't imagine how they are going to be able to keep it all going. I vividly remember the last big shutdown and how scared my mother was during that time about keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table. I thank God that she's now retired and is stable enough to not have to worry about this for the time being.

And to the military poster above - you all rock and I hope this passes quickly so you can continue to do what you do best. You are the true heroes out there.

cara said...

And you are one of the best mamas I know!!!!

How blessed to have precious Hayden and Norah in your life. xoxo

Chelsea said...

My oldest is only six, but I want to have those same rules when mine are old enough to have email and cell phones. Oh yeah, and what Amy said :) No apology necessary for Nancy and Harry...