Monday, September 30, 2013

why I homeschool my kids

I had a conversation with my sister-in-law today that sparked this post. She's pregnant with her seventh child, and I couldn't be happier...partly because I love big families, and also because she and my brother produce amazing children. The world needs more little Kopps running around.

So today we were discussing schooling options. Lori and my brother have chosen to send some of their kids to school, and they homeschool the others. They make their decisions based on each child's needs, and also how they feel their school is doing when it comes to educating each child. Their oldest child achieved a perfect score on the math section of his SATs and was accepted into the Air Force Academy this year...he is brilliant. They have a host of children coming up in the ranks who are equally brilliant, and they want them to remain so. Thus their decision to homeschool.

Because contrary to the belief of some, homeschooling is many times a better choice than public schooling. And I say that with a profound respect for teachers- my mom was a teacher for many, many years, and I have dozens of friends who have chosen that noble profession. But the sad fact is, not every teacher is a great teacher, and even when some are, not every school is a wonderful place to teach.

We have done everything when it comes to schooling our kids. We've had them in public school, we've homeschooled, we've done public school online, and we've gone the private school route. This has all been done in an effort to find the best fit for our family. Honestly, I did not want to homeschool my kids. The reasons against it are endless.

I'm not a naturally organized person.

I like having my time to myself.

I don't feel qualified.

I have a lot on my plate already.

It takes so much work.

I love a quiet house.

I enjoy school Christmas programs and field trips and parent nights.

I loved school myself. LOVED it.

Having said that, we faced so many disappointments and problems in the public school system where we live, and private school became so expensive the more children we had, that homeschooling became our only option.

I'm going to give you a little glimpse into that last year of public school that sealed the deal for me...because I hope to make some people investigate what is going on in their children's schools. Perhaps you're one of the lucky ones who have an awesome school and some equally awesome teachers. I know they're out there. I really do. We had those in the town we lived in before we moved here, and I couldn't have been more delighted.... and then we moved here.

Side note : I don't want to disparage all the schools in my town, and I am willing to admit that I may have a bad taste in my mouth because of the particular grade school my children attended. So if you live here, please know that I don't think you're a terrible parent if you send your kids to public school. This was just my experience.

My oldest son was in fourth grade when we moved here, and we had him go to one month of school to meet new friends before the next school year began. He was always well liked, and he fit right in immediately. The problems began the next year, in fifth grade.

We spent the good part of that year staying up late talking to Jason and praying with him, because he could not get images out of his mind, or conversations he had with other boys at school. Every day he came home telling us about things that were told to him that he could not stop thinking about. He was 10 years old and still sleeping with a teddy bear, and yet the kids at his school were constantly talking about one thing : sex.

For instance, there was a boy at school who was being raised by his single mother. I'm not sure where the teacher was - and neither was Jason - but this little boy took advantage of his absence in the classroom by unzipping his pants and opening and closing his book on his private parts. And calling to Jason to look at him, while he laughed. I often wondered how different that little boy would have been if he had a father figure in his life, but that's a whole different topic. *Edited to add: this sentence apparently hurt some single moms. When I wrote it I was thinking about his deadbeat dad...and the fact that this little boy often told my son how he wished his dad came to his baseball games like Jason's dad did. What was written as a statement about dads who miss their chance to impact their kids' lives for good was taken by some as a slam against single moms. I'm sorry for the misunderstanding :(

Another boy pulled up pornography on the class computer, and Jason walked by while he was looking at it. When I asked the teacher how this could possibly happen, he assured me it couldn't - the school computers had filters on them, and you couldn't even get to a website that had the word sex on it. When I told him what Jason saw on his friend's computer, the teacher then told me that he was sure they "both" knew they should not have been looking at that. (???)

The last six weeks of school were used to allow student teachers to come in and teach. And apparently they were used by the regular teachers to go have a smoke or hang out in the teacher's lounge... because according to my kids, they were rarely in the classroom during those six weeks of school.

One day Jason came home to tell us what had happened while the student teacher from our local college was teaching...a boy in his class read (out loud) a story he wrote about his father. His dad was obviously a very sick man, who strapped him to the table and did ...things... to him to punish him. Sam marched down to the school to talk to the principal, who put him in touch with the student teacher. She explained to my husband that this particular boy would not do math or reading assignments, but he WAS very good about writing. So she allowed him to write about whatever he wanted, and to encourage him, she had him read his paper aloud to the classroom. When Sam asked her if she thought it was appropriate to read that kind of disturbing behavior to a group of ten and eleven year olds, she responded that she didn't know ahead of time what he had written. When Sam asked her why she didn't stop him when he started reading the sordid details of his troubled home out loud, she said she "didn't want to embarrass him."

That was Jason's first and last year at that school. We made the decision to pull him out of school, and Josiah asked to be homeschooled as well. We decided to leave Mackenzie in the school, as she was only in second much could happen at that age ? We were so wrong.

Just after the school year began, the school counselor called Mackenzie into her office at lunch time (without notifying me) because another little boy said she told him to f*** off. I guarantee you Mackenzie did not even know the f-word at that age, and we knew this little boy from her softball team...his parents regularly hauled him off the field when he threw himself on the grass refusing to play. His father would carry him screaming to their van while he cursed him all the I have no doubt he had heard those words before.

Kenzie told the counselor she didn't know what word she said, and later on the counselor called to tell me the story. When Mackenzie came home and I asked her about the incident she said this little boy had been yelling at HER on the playground and got in trouble - he obviously lied to the teacher to get himself off the hook. When I asked Kenzie if she said anything like "you sucker" (thinking maybe there was a name she did know that rhymed with the f-word ???) she BURST into tears and said she would never ever use the word "sucker". (Whew. Because we all know that is the worst you could call someone ;)) I called the counselor and told her about our conversation, and she said she believed my daughter and was dropping the matter. But the next day she called Mackenzie into her office and asked her "why she lied to her mommy ? Was she afraid of her mommy ??"

A few weeks later Mackenzie's teacher sent home a letter explaining that for two weeks (??) they would be talking about good touch/bad touch in the classroom. When I called the teacher to ask what kind of things would take place, she said they would talk about many things, including how corporal punishment was bad touch, and if children had experienced this at home they were encouraged to talk to their teachers about it. They would also be discussing inappropriate touches (with second graders) and using role play to demonstrate how a child should react to inappropriate touching. There would be a video detailing what inappropriate touches were, which did not include the act of inappropriate touching, but left the children to surmise what it was because of the drama that led up to it.

So yes, we had problems. And what I described was the worst of them, but there were dozens upon dozens of smaller problems, all adding up with the big ones and resulting in our decision to pull our kids out of that school.

I prayed long and hard about that decision - and believe me, there have been days when I have wanted to quit. Lots of days.

But I'll tell you what - I am not going to sacrifice my kids' innocence and expose them every day to that kind of crud because I like having my time to myself. I'm not going to subject them to that kind of environment day in and day out because I don't feel qualified. Because in my opinion, my kids' character and innocence - in the long run - matters to me so much more than their education. Period.

So I pray, and I take the time to look for good curriculum, and I ask lots of questions, and I try to become better educated myself so that I can help my kids learn. I employ help when needed - I go to people who understand math better than I do, and I ask for help teaching my kids algebra. I call people who are smarter that I am when I don't know how to teach something else. I make sure my children are reading and reading and reading, and then I make sure they read some more. And then I pray and pray and pray again for God's wisdom and help in doing this job of homeschooling.

Do I make mistakes ? I'm quite sure I do. But I know one thing - I have my kids' best interests at heart. And those teachers did not. I  have no idea what their motivation for teaching was, and I'm sure it wasn't evil. Perhaps it was just to earn a paycheck. Perhaps they really did believe that a ten year old glancing over and seeing pornography on another student's computer was no big deal. Because - as that teacher informed me - it was nothing worse than what kids see every night on tv.

My point exactly.

Which is why we don't have a tv either, thank you very much.

I'm not raising my kids to live in a cave. They will be inundated with all of the garbage the world has to offer soon enough. It's on billboards and in magazines and on iPhones and just about everywhere you look.

But while my kids are little I want them to be just that - KIDS.

And kids shouldn't have to be subjected to an "adult" culture every day.

Children should have a chance to enjoy things like sleeping with their teddy bear at night - instead of being asked every day by the boy in the lunch line which one of the Spice Girls he'd like to have sex with.

I'll get off my soapbox now. If you have any questions or thoughts about the subject of homeschooling, I'd love to hear them.

I'll end with reason number 4,753 why I'm glad we chose homeschooling for our family :

...I get to go on mid-morning coffee dates with my kids. And I don't even have to ask permission to do it.

The End.


Jennifer said...

Wow!! I don't think I would have even lasted in that school system as long as you did. I would not even question whether you should have pulled them out or not. And I am sorry but that is NOT what kids see on TV. I don't know the teachers but they seem like they have very poor judgement. It's just very sad that it seems like the whole school has poor judgement. I chose to homeschool my children to for awhile and at the time I thought my reasons were for things happening at their school that I didn't agree with but nothing that compares with what you and your family had to go through. I am so glad they are out of there and home with you. I don't think you are sheltering them at all if that is what they would have to endure! You are an awesome mom and advocate for all of you children!!

Pink Slippers said...

That post was so good that I would like to link it from my blog; if you don't mind? I love homeschooling even more after reading your post.

mommyliu said...

I've tried just about every different type of schooling too and finally homeschooling this year. I have had many similar bad things happen at our neighborhood school and have been blown off by the teachers and principal when I have talked with them numerous times. My daughter had kidney issues and high blood pressure from her scarred kidneys and the stress from bullying (in 4th grade last year) Was causing her blood pressure to be even higher despite her medication. I pulled her from school and her blood pressure went down. She was having a physical reaction to stress. That was all I needed to pull them for good. People like you and your family are a great example to me and give me great hope of how my kids might turn out.

Katherine said...

Regarding the boy that exposed himself to your son and his classmates: the fact that he was raised by a single mother is absolutely irrelevant to the rest of the story. Maybe he acted that way because of a "father figure" who had been in his life, and that's why his mother chose to raise him alone. Or maybe he would have been worse off with the wrong "father figure."
The 4-year old boy I used to nanny is raised by a single mother, and she is AMAZING. He is the sweetest, smartest, most compassionate little boy I've ever met, and he doesn't have a father figure in his life. I am offended by your implication that single mothers are not good enough.

Patti said...


There was much more to the story than I blogged about. There are many studies that show what the lack of a father figure in children's life can produce. My commentary was not placing blame on the mother for raising him alone...if anything it was an indictment against the father who refused to be part of his son's life.

Patti said...

* children's lives ^^^

Brittany said...

I'm an Oregonian. I am the child of a single mother. I am a public school teacher. I love Jesus. It hurts to read accounts like these. It hurts that no one listened to you. I want to say more, but I won't. Mad respect for homeschooling; I couldn't ever do it!

Megan said...


Thank you for your views on public school vs homeschool where you live. It's very eye-opening, but I have to agree with Katherine above. I feel like your follow-up explanation doesn't really help your cause because, as you stated, "there's much more to the story than I blogged about." If that was the case, then I would hope you would enlighten us in some way as to how being a single mother is relevant to this story.

I, too, was hurt by the implication that single mothers aren't good enough and I have good reason to be - I am an only child of a single mother. My father died before I was born. My mother worked her tail off to provide for me, help me get a wonderful education, and has supported me in whatever endeavor I chose to follow. I am a grown women who gave up a good job to do something I'm passionate about - serving people in third world countries. The only time I ever had a father figure in my life was from the ages of 4-5 and they divorced because of how HE treated me (the judge granting the divorce even made him pay child support payments for me, even though I wasn't his child, because of how much he angered her), which I thankfully do not really remember. Are you saying I would have been better off with a father figure like that instead of a strong woman who knew she could do it on her own and wanted to protect me from possible further damage? What if something like this happens to one of your daughters - she's married, has children, and her husband dies? Do you want her to automatically go out and get another husband because you're afraid of how she will raise her children without a man around to be a father figure? If so, I feel very sorry for them because that shows a lack of trust that you have for your girls.

I truly enjoy your blog and you have really opened my eyes to the wonderful world of raising a beautiful child with Down Syndrome. However, this is one time I would ask that you are careful with your words because things can be taken the wrong way and people can be insulted without you meaning for that to happen. Yes, you can say I'm sensitive about this, but how would you feel if someone blatantly insulted your mother and implied that she wasn't good enough to raise a child on her own?

MotherT said...

Patti, my girls both went to public school. I had a few instances similar to what you described, but I was always a very vocal parent and the teachers all knew me well. (Didn't necessarily like me.) There were times that I talked to teachers, then counsellors, then principals, and occasionally, District Superintendents. I always reminded them that I was my child's parent and had the right to demand changes in her curriculum as long as I could come up with something that taught the same basic principle the class was being taught. It forced me to be on my toes educationally and spiritually.

The schools now are not a child-friendly place. If I had school-aged children NOW, I would most definitely be homeschooling. As it is, I have been teaching Preschool to two of my granddaughters for the past two years.

My oldest daughter is homeschooling her children. My youngest daughter would love for her children to be homeschooled, but her husband disagrees. I'm going to be homeschooling my "son's" daughter.

I applaud you for pulling your children out of public school and jumping into your discomfort zone to allow your children to be children as long as possible. Too many people think preserving childhood leads to irresponsible adults, but I have always found it to be just the opposite. Children who are allowed to remain children, are ready to leave childhood behind and accept the responsibility of adulthood at the proper age.

**High Five**

Kristy Sayer-Jones @ Southern In Law said...

Patti, I absolutely applaud your choice of homeschooling your kids - and this is something that Jesse and I have discussed and prayed about even though we're no where near ready to start a family.

I was constantly bullied at school - I was the innocent smart girl who was walked all over by jealous girls who hated that I had more friends than them or was smarter than them. Even as a 16 year old, I would cry to my mum each day because I couldn't face going to school. My parents were told by counsellor sand psychiatrists that they needed to keep me in school and "face the fear" but my parents noticed that I wasn't doing any better going to school - I was getting way, way worse. In the end, we made the decision to begin homeschooling - it took forever for my school to support it (as homeschooling is rare in Australia) but eventually they let me do almost all of my work at home, coming to school once a week for a couple of hours to get work for my teachers. I thrived and my happy cheerful positive self came back and my parents decided to enrol me in "distance education" which is basically home schooling with support and work from a real school which mails out your work and assignments and organises your exams so you can graduate the same way you would in a "regular school". My grades were better (I was always an A grade student but I started getting 100% on every test) my attitude was better and I was genuinely happy again - and my family wish they had have gone against the norm sooner than they did as it helped so much.

My 13 years of hell at school certainly have me looking into home school the second I find out I'm pregnant - and it's my goal to start teaching my kids ASAP.

Huge congratulations to you, Mama, for all that you do - it's truly incredible

Race Bannon said...

There are so many "Brittanys" in the public schools, but its seems like there are less and less.

Too much to say...and there is little in this world that is more important.

Stori said...

Thank you so much for sharing this! Please don't delete it.

Jenna said...

We are wrestling with what to do about school already! Lucas doesn't start for two more years. Then Sophia the next year and Savannah two years after that. I would love to put them in private school but I don't think we could afford for three (or maybe more?!?!!!) to go.

We are very strongly considering homeschooling. Which breaks my heart because I know Lucas would love school but, at the moment (especially after reading this post!) I am losing all faith in the public school system. Nothing against the mostly fabulous teachers! Large class sizes, lack of funds and therefore programs, Jesus banned from the classroom, and children raised by parents with very different standards than my own influencing my children.... No thanks.

"Sacrificing my children's innocence" is the perfect way to describe it.

Sonya said...

Because of my horrible, similar public and expensive private school experience, I told my soon-to be husband we would homeschool our kids if we were to be married. He was a new public school teacher and he thought that was hypocritical but he married me and hoped I'd change my mind. After working at the middle school for about 6 months, he came home from being dragged across the school yard trying to break up a fight and agreed that we would never send our kids to that school. That was 16 years ago and he was just telling me last night how much he loves that we learn things even more important than "school". He's retiring next year because he just doesn't feel like he's able to make much of an impact anymore.
Oh, and one of his earliest statements he made after Glory was born was that he did not want her in special ed. Some teachers are great, some are just getting their paycheck.
I'm sure God gives special grace to single parent households when they seek Him, but sadly, some do not and it is an impossible task to do well without that grace.
Love your posts!

Patti said...

I think perhaps you are a bit sensitive because of your upbringing...I wasn't blatantly insulting anyone's mother, my comment was that I "have often wondered how different that little boy would have been if he'd had a father figure on his life." I still do wonder that. This particular little boy, Colby, was on my son's baseball team. We took him to all of his games, because his mom was working. Colby told my son that he wished he had a dad to take him to his games like Jason's dad did. He ended up becoming one of Jason's closest friends and the teacher complimented Jason at the end of the year on reaching out to him. My husband tried to reach out to him while we knew him, but we lost touch with him after that year.
My mom - who is one of my favorite people in life- was raised by a single mom. My sister - also one of my favorite people- IS a single mom to my three nieces, and she works hard (at home) so that she can stay home with her kids. I have the utmost respect for moms who are in the position of raising their children by themselves because of all the reasons you mentioned.
But I stand by my comment that kids do benefit greatly by having a father figure in their lives. Studies bear this out, and statistics do as well. This doesn't mean single moms can't do a fantastic job by themselves. It means an active father figure could greatly benefit many of these kids who - like the boy I mentioned- wish they had a dad.
I also do NOT support a woman staying in an abusive relationship. EVER. And I would not encourage my daughters to "run out and find a husband" if they found themselves in the situation your mother did. I wouldn't do this myself - even given the amount of kids I have. I would, however, find good dads in our church who could do the things I couldn't do a good job of doing...explain football (nobody wants that to happen, believe me !), talk to my boys about the facts of life, etc. I don't think I would worry as much about my girls...but I would make darn sure they knew the love of the ultimate Father by exposing them to church and good preaching at every possible opportunity.
Thanks so much for commenting, I appreciate your input and I will definitely try to balance things out in the future. It is sometimes hard to do in one blogpost :)
P.S. love your heart for third world countries !! xo

Kathy McElhaney said...

You obviously made the right decision! I started school in the 60s and attended public school, but it's so different now.

When our church opened a private school in the early 80s, a lot of people protested "but how will children learn to live in the world and be a witness for Christ?" Our pastor put it very simply, tender plants are kept in a greenhouse until they are strong enough to survive harsher conditions. That was the purpose of our school - to nurture the tender plants called children.

Joy said...

Thanks for posting this!!! I homeschooled our kids before we moved here to Hawaii this past spring, but I have felt so much more pressure this year knowing that I have to make it work because public school here is pretty terrible and private is insanely expensive. I am homeschooling my first high schooler, too. It has been such a tough move (no, really!!!) and the kids haven't made many friends yet even though we've been here 5 months already. There have been times when I thought about putting them in public school just so they could meet people. I think/ hope/ pray things are settling a little, and we are figuring things out slowly but surely. But as I faced another day of homeschooling with a rambunctious almost-two-year-old, this was exactly what I needed to read.

Your list of reasons not to do it is almost exactly like mine... and yet you do it with more kids (I only have four). I was also encouraged by how you admit to making mistakes, because I felt like I made many last year, including taking some terrible advice about curriculum and feeling at least for a while that I had thus ruined my eldest's education. I would love to read more about your experience.

Thanks again! Blessings!

crystalkupper said...

Oh Patti, I'm so sorry! My parents started homeschooling after our local public school got my brother in trouble for insisting the story of Jonah wasn't a fairy tale.

We move to the UK in a month, and I've really had to force myself to trust God over my kids' future schooling. There are no private Christian schools over there, and while I am considering homeschooling in the future, I don't think this is the year to start with an infant and toddler and culture shock and such. So I keep praying over my kids' education and reminding myself that Christ cares more about them than I do. It's hard. :-)

Anonymous said...

We are in our first year of home school and LOVE it. I read an article published this last week that 80% of 13 year olds in the UK (where the study took place) had watched or regularly partake online pornography. I want to keep my babies innocent!

Unknown said...

I am a kindergarten teacher. My husband is a middle school teacher. We teach in the same public school system. Both my daughters want to be teachers. Why? Because they were schooled by caring, loving, respectful, hardworking, teachers who expected the same of their students. I'm sorry your experience was so bad. There are great teachers and schools out there. My daughters will be great additions to the profession! Looking for a great school system? Come to East Jordan Michigan! ;)

a portland granny said...

Wonderful post! I am a single mother, as well as a retired teacher!

As a single mother, I was was very purposeful in raising my family and structuring our lives with Grandpa, uncles, and other men who took time with the children....however, my children's lives missed something very important, a real, live Dad of their very own. I did not find your remark offensive. Many single moms work two jobs, and really struggle to make ends meet, much less have the time or energy to give their children extra attention and the kids suffer.

By the grace of God, my children are all grown and are all functioning members of society, as well as Believers, but I would be the first to say that single parenting is not optimum!

Teachers today have new challenges that I never had to have. The way things are set up now, there seems to be no time for creativity, but in many cases a locked-in plan must be followed!

May I also add, that had I had the choice to home school, I would definitely have chosen that route!!

Oh yes, I could write a book about my experiences in dealing with teachers and some of the things that were allowed in the classroom..but I won't.

Thanks for your blog. I love reading about your wonderful family and sweet little Lily and her antics.

a gresham reader

Amy P. said...

Would you believe this is the 3rd time I have tried to post a comment?!?! If you don't get this one then just know I love ya'll. Ha ha
Ok, what I really was trying to say was that I LOVE that there is not a tv in your home. I didn't have one growing up and my husband agreed not to have one when we got married. People are so blown away when they find out we don't have a tv. My favorite is when cable companys call ans then don't believe us when I say there's not a tv in the home. Lol
As far as education, I have a 2nd grader and a K-gartner that attend a small, private christian school. Their school is amazing. My 7 yr old memorized the whole book of James last year. I just love it. However, it is a tad costly and I may not always afford to send them. Homeschool would definitely be my next choice! !

Megan said...

Thank you so much for your response and taking the time to clarify. I completely understand where you are coming from after reading what is in your heart. I, unfortunately, haven't even had great father figures in my own family, but have had some wonderful friends and their parents have taken me in like their own daughter.

I love what I've done in my current country, but I will confess - I cannot wait to get home next May. I miss my family and my dog, quite a lot. I think I will have to re-examine my life after this experience, but I feel like I will continue to do this work in one way or another.

And with that - back to reading and enjoying what you post.

Theresa said...

Wow, great post. I am a former public school teacher who now stays home to homeschool my own. I taught second grade. There were certain students who were being raised with good morals and their parents were working to keep their innocence, but that was quickly taken away when another student in the class acted out inappropriately. It just broke my heart! Even though I was there as a teacher and did intervene it often was not before foul language or inappropriate behavior took place. I whole heartily agree with your thoughts on kids being kids. Bless you!

Danielle said...

So scary. Praying for wisdom from God on my own kids. I can relate to all the reasons you didn't want to homeschool. Ug. So very hard. when I didn't have kids I swore if never home school. Since I've had kids I've struggled with whats the best plan. I need wisdom from here o out!!! It terrifies me!!

Amy said...

So many of our reasons for deciding to home school. This and common core! You're right though, we all have to just do our best with our situations for our kids and if we can do more, we should do more.

Melissa said...

Oh Patty. I read your blog post yesterday and yes I was a bit upset over the single mom comment but it's not anything that I haven't heard MANY times before. I was a single mom working multiple jobs from 1998-2008. My kids all had at least one dx and I cannot even tell you how many times someone in the church would tell me 'IF' they just had a 'solid male role model' they would be just fine. As a single parent working my tail off this just rubbed me wrong. Have you ever seen a cat when you pet it the wrong way? Anyway, I digress. The fact is my ex husband CHOSE his unfortunate life, and there was nothing I could do about it. My kiddos were better off with just lil ole me, riding herd on em. So yeah I could see how people could take that comment wrong, especially since it is one that is very common in the Christian world.

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, yes, everything you said, Patti. I totally agree.

I don't say this in public on the internet, but I am a public school teacher (middle and high school). I don't plan to send my toddler to public school - it is my fervent hope and prayer that my husband will be able to support our family so that I can stay home and teach our child.

Our teachers in our schools here are great (well, mostly. :) ) I do NOT like the current emphasis on testing, testing, testing.

And I strongly disagree with the humanist focus of schools - teaching evolution, homosexuality, global warming, etc. As a Christian, I want to educate my child about God. I think teaching her about good and bad touch is SUPER important (check out for some excellent ideas about that) but I am REALLY uncomfortable with the idea that the kids are watching a video explaining good and bad touch while the same school doesn't mind the kids watching p0rn in class!

Thank you for writing this and for sharing it. I so much appreciate reading another perspective on home-schooling.

SharonLN said...

Patti I have always read your blog with a happy heart. But today I'm switching off. Your flippant comment about one boy being raised by a single mother, who may well have turned put differently had he had a father figure has made my heart heavy. My children sadly had no choice but to be raised by a single mother when their father chose to leave for us for another woman. My son was six weeks old when he left. SIX WEEKS. My children have regular contact with their father, step mother, and brother.
To say that a child would turn out differently if they had a father figure in their lives is narrow minded and naive. Would my daughter be straight if he had stayed? Probably not. Would my son still be a state hockey representative if he had stayed? Probably. Would my daughter be gifted musically if he had stayed? Probably. Would my son have the same wicked sense of humor if he had stayed? Probably. Would they have benefited having warring parents staying married? Probably not.

We are all entitled to our opinions, but please PLEASE don't put people into stereotypical baskets. Your single mother parent comment hurt me. I'm sorry but today is the day I switch off from your blog and Instagram. Not all children are blessed to have parents that stay together. Perhaps it's time for you to step out of your perfect bubble and see this.

Patti said...

Sharon, I left this comment on your blog, but just in case you come back to read... I'm so sorry your husband was so cruel and so foolish. Hats off to you for raising your children alone - lots of love sent your way. Xo Patti

Patti said...

I honestly did not think about how that sentence about single moms could be taken. My issues was with the DAD because I knew he chose to not be involved in his son's life. I didn't in any way think it was a slam on single mamas :(

cara said...

Just now reading this post and all of the comments! I am SO, SO incredibly thankful that the Lord put us on the path of homeschooling early. I hate hearing these kinds of stories. We began homeschooling after our oldest, Logan, was in kindergarten. I even had issues there. But I am not shocked by what the kids are talking about. Sad!!!

I know what you meant by the single mother. I know your heart Patti. Much love! xoxo

Unknown said...

I am not sure if you will get this comment as it is such an old post but I would be interested in any thoughts you have on home schooling Lily. We are feeling very uncomfortable with my daughters school at the moment and their approach to have a child with Down Syndrome in their school. Did you tackle it differently to your other children? Did you find she learnt in a different way and you needed a different approach? She is 5 at the moment and I don't want to miss a vital developmental chance. I am praying and somehow managing to feel peaceful and lost all at the same time. Any advice or thoughts would be fantastic. x

Patti said...

We are just starting with homeschooling Lily .. I have done flashcards with her for a few years and last year began teaching her how to write her name, but this year (since she is five) we will work on the things a typical kindergartener learns. So I don't know that I'm really qualified to answer your question just yet ! I'll keep you posted though :) xo