Wednesday, March 27, 2013

random thoughts and a Lilyduck

It's ten thirty Wednesday night and I vowed to myself I was going to get to sleep at a decent time tonight. So this will be a photo-heavy post with very random thoughts strewn throughout. Hope you don't mind.

Baby number 11:

I think about him/her all the time. I mean all the time. I wonder who he/she is, and I wonder how Lily is going to handle his/her arrival. Lily is so very much the baby of the family, and even though I know she will adore this baby, as she adores all babies or baby dolls.. I'm thinking there will be a few jealousy issues. Even though there will be almost three and a half years between Lily and baby #11, she is much more on par with an 18 month old as far as cognition, I'm anticipating some of that sibling angst we've been through before. I keep telling myself that our other kids always weathered through fine eventually, and this time will be no different. But part of me wants Lily to stay our baby as well, which is creating a lot of emotional turmoil. Not that I don't already have a lot of emotions these days- pregnancy hormones are raging for sure. One second I'm giddy with excitement over this last stage of pregnancy, the next I'm crying on the phone to Sam wondering how I can make it through 8 or 9 weeks more. I'm a lil' schizo these days. I admit it.

Grief, Hope and Miracles :

I had so much feedback on this series. My heart just goes out to so many mamas who have experienced loss far greater than what I have. I am so amazed at these women who have shared their blown away by their strength and their faith, and so inspired to lean more heavily into Jesus during the hard times of my life. I am so honored to share their stories here, and so encouraged by their testimonies about the grace of God carrying them through.

A Penny From Heaven

I have a big giveaway coming up next week on A Perfect Lily. We'll be aiming at helping Penny's family adopt her, and helping them in a big way. I hope you will tune in, and pray, and help me spread the word about her adoption. It's been a long time since I held a giveaway on Lily's blog, and I am so excited to see what God will do next week. PLEASE be praying about this !!

Thank You

Earlier this week I wrote a post called Get Over Yourself. I had so many comments on that post- sweet, encouraging, uplifting comments, and I was overwhelmed by your love and graciousness. The intent of that post was not to solicit that kind of encouragement, but to confess my weaknesses and sort through the feelings I had ever reading some negative comments on another site. I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time to leave a comment, because it really, REALLY did help me. It helped too, to see how many people go through the exact same struggles I do. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your hearts here with me. oxox

Last bits:

My little girl is growing up. Look at that picture of her above. Where did my baby go ?? Her grammi made that ducky cap for her...I have to say that even though we are Beaver fans here in Corvallis, I absolutely love this cap :) Lily paraded around the house for fifteen minutes with it on, peeking out from under the bill like she was the coolest little duck ever. Thank you, Mom, for always blessing us with your sewing and quilting skills !!

Told you this was a random post.

It's 10:52 and Sam just came downstairs to rebuke me and tell me to get into bed.





Naomi said...

Such beautiful pictures:)) lily will always be the baby to me.. Xoxo naomi

Heather said...

Oh how I love to start my day with a good dose of Lily. xoxoxo I envy where you are but also remember those moments of just feeling "done" and ready! You got this mama, you will be kissing and snuggling that new little person so soon. Lily is blessed with so much good around her, she has an outstanding cushion of brothers and sisters to help guide her through this. Yay for great big family!

Maureen Huizinga said...

She really is getting to look more a big girl :D Her hat is dh hails from further north than you, so, you know, a husky hat would be great too; purple would suit her quite well, lol!!
(non PAC 12 blog readers ignore)

Crystal Kupper said...

Love the new photos!

Crystal Kupper said...

Love the new photos!

Mrs. K said...

Patti, I think Lilyduck comprehends much more than you are giving her credit for (aahh hate ending a sentene with a prep).

In my humble opinion, not speaking as Lily's grammi, I have seen her respond to directions and questions and I think the only thing holding her back is her thinking "how do I repond", or better yet because she is so independent "how do I want to respond?" Her responses and actions are almost instantanious but sometimes she is thinking/processing what is expected but she definetly understands beyond 18 months. Please give my little ducky a hug and kiss from her Grammi.

Race Bannon said...

She could have made a beaver hat....just sayin'

cara said...

Well, somehow I missed this post and had to comment being on the other side of having James after Benji now. I was going through ALL of those emotions you are before he came!! I wondered how I could have this much love for another baby like I do Benji. I was feeling sad that Benji would no longer be my baby!! I could not picture that! He has been the baby for so long and every sibling treats him like he is the most adorable, special little guy in the world.mmmmmmmmzzzzzzzzzz zmkkzkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzmxxxxxxxx x (and that is what Benji has to say about all of this! :)) He typed while I took care of baby for a second, ha. Anyways, I also battled guilt for having another baby with Benji, etc. I went through all of these emotions, and I am sure my hormones were raging as well. Then came James. Oh wow!! I cannot wait until you have this precious baby Patti!!!! And I thought Benji would have a hard time since he is such our baby and been this way for almost three years. But he has not seemed a bit jealous or upset or anything. I am blown away. Mary, our five year old, has showed more emotion than him. I did not realize how much I held her because she is needing extra lovin right now. But Benji loves to give James his blanket and pacifier. He gets big grins with him and always signs like he is holding a baby when he sees us holding him. He pats him and loves him. It is really sweet. I have not noticed anything different in Benji. He has just gone right on like usual. I have had to make extra time to snuggle him because James pretty much only wants to be held; he gets tummy aches. And he got this yucky cold! But Benji and I still get our time. And of course I love James more than anything. We just love ALL of our kiddos SO much, don't we? Everything about it is a blessing. :) Praying for you and everything coming up with childbirth! xoxo