Saturday, March 16, 2013

Grief, Hope, and Miracles: part two

This is the second in a series of blog posts about grief, hope, and miracles. I've asked several mamas who have walked through uncertain diagnoses for their children to contribute guest posts over the next two weeks.  Some of these stories end on a positive note...some show the deep faith of women who walked through the most difficult of life's trials ~ losing a child...and some show the ongoing journey of faith and hope as they continue to believe for the health of their little one. I hope their stories will inspire you to greater faith and a deeper trust in the Lord, as they did me. 

~ Patti


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 by Aleisa A. Yusko from I Will Carry You



It's been well over a year since I answered that phone call from our geneticist with the amnio results. 

To recall it still takes my breath away. I don't know that there is anything that can prepare you for the words, “Your baby IS showing a third 18th chromosome.” Our world was shattered. We'd done the research and the words “incompatible with life” were echoing loudly in my aching head. I was outraged at God and suddenly felt detached from my pregnancy. I was destroyed by the thought of losing our baby, but terrified by the prospect of becoming the parent of a special needs child. Whether this baby lived or died, I was scared to death. I had never felt so out of control of something in my entire life. 


My husband and I leaned heavily on each other during this time and quickly realized we could not make it through something like this without the power of the Holy Spirit. Each hour we made it through was progress. It would be 99 more days that we had to patiently endure before our baby was born. As the time passed we gradually became accustomed to our new normal of having no idea what to expect from day to day. We mourned the loss of a typical healthy baby. We were told our baby could pass on at any time. We were hopeful for maybe just a few hours.  We found out on February 5th that our baby was a girl and we named her Nora Rose. No, she wasn't “perfect” by the world's standards, but she was our baby and we fell helplessly in love with her. 


This unplanned journey that we found ourselves on inspired me to start a blog that I named after my promise to Nora: I Will Carry You (www.noraroseyusko.com)



  

  




After about 9 hours of labor we were gifted with the sound of a hearty little cry. A very tiny, absolutely beautiful, perfect little girl was placed in my arms. We gazed into each other’s eyes as her tiny little hand reached up toward my face. Thank You, thank You, thank You, God!!! She had survived delivery. Just as we were heaving our sighs of relief, Nora was calmly but urgently whisked away from me and back to the observation table. My dear friend, also a labor and delivery nurse, was asked to be present for the delivery. She came over to my bedside and whispered in my ear about what was going on. With tears in her eyes, she explained that Nora's heart rate was dangerously low. 


Without drastic measures (which we had already decided against) things weren't looking good. The silence was deafening. My hands were tightly grasped in prayer as I pleaded out loud with God to give me my little girl back, “Please, please, please, please, please, God. Oh, please, God, no! Please don't take her. Not yet! Please! I beg you, God!” My husband wrapped his arms around me, and we cried. Just as my heart was about to break in two, the silence was broken by the sound of the most beautiful little cry. I screamed out in ecstasy, praising the One True and Holy Lord God and Savior. Before long I had my sweet little bundle back in my arms. She was so absolutely perfect and I wouldn't have traded her for the world.


   


 
  


Nora will be one year old on April 17, 2013, far surpassing anyone's expectations. She is such an integral part of our family and we can't imagine what we did before she came along. Her beautiful little smile and her sweet squeals set my heart on fire. I wonder in awe at how I could have been so afraid of something so blessed, so precious. Nora is a gift to our family and a gift to everyone who knows her either in person or through the blog.

We have been taught so much through Nora. We've realized how very little we are actually in control of. Surrendering our lives completely to God was an enormous burden off our backs, yet not an easy step to take. We've also realized the futility of worry. There has been absolutely no benefit to worrying other than driving ourselves crazy. Nora has taught us about the sanctity of life. Every life indeed has a mighty purpose! We boldly prayed for a miracle and we got one that far surpassed our wildest dreams.



8 comments:

my family said...

oh what a beautiful baby nad story...never give up on God or that precious baby. I have a friend who was sent home with hospice for her daughter, they were told six weeks was her life expectancy(she also has T18) TOday she is seven years old. The road has not been easy for them but she is beautiful and wonderfully made

Crystal said...

Yay, so glad to hear she's going strong!

cara said...

Oh, I love Nora Rose!!! What a blessing to be able to see these beautiful birth pictures again. Thank you Aleisa for sharing precious Nora and your whole family with the world. You are such an encouragement, and I love how you always bring everything to the Word of God and see God in all of your life. You are a woman of great faith and an inspiration to SO many.

Loving those baff pictures SO much! :) xoxo

Julie said...

beautiful

Danielle said...

What a miracle... xoxox

Elle's mommy said...

wow...i just read both of these in the series and i'm at my desk at work and people are going to think i'm a freak...i'm crying!!! Oh, God is so awesome...thank you for this series...Incredible people, Incredible God!

EN said...

Beautiful story and a beautiful baby Nora! My favorite part is how there is no benefit to worry. I need to remind myself of this constantly. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story.

Rachael said...

Do you have any updates, Patti? Even a sentence or two would be appreciated. That baby and her family are always in my thoughts.