Monday, March 25, 2013

get over yourself

I'm starting this post off with a topic in mind, but as I'm typing I'm fully aware that I might hit delete at any moment and erase the whole thing.

It's a topic that's been on my mind for a week now, and today when I told one of my sons I was going to address it, he asked me why. I tried to explain what was brewing in my head, but he wisely pointed out that if my purpose was to change some hearts, it probably wasn't going to happen. Because some people are bent on being critical no matter what you do - and those people don't want to change. They can't see reason, which is probably the reason they are so negative in the first place.

So in my brain I erased this post and tried to forget about it.

But here I sit at the computer, and the words and thoughts are still lingering in a small corner of my mind, and usually the only way I sort through things completely is to write it all down.

So here I go...and if I don't end up hitting publish, at least I got it off my chest in my draft folder :)



On our trip to California last week I spent a lot of time checking email, etc. on the road...we drove eight hours each day, and I was trying to get my mind off my jumping legs (blame it on the genes- my mom and grandma suffered from restless leg syndrome and graciously passed this curse onto me).

Towards the end of the first leg (ugh!) of the trip I checked my site meter for Lily's blog. It's a little gadget I have that keeps track of visitors, page views, etc. and it's just a cool way to find out who is visiting your blog and where they came from. I don't check it often, but I was bored...so I saw maybe ten hits (out of two thousand...) from an online site named GOMI - an acronym for get off my internet. (*side note - this is just like me. Ignore the two thousand and tune into the ten.)  The link the visitors were coming from had key words that made me curious- it was the name of one of my blogging friends, and it had the word "snark" in it. I wondered why in the world people would be coming from that site, and why my blog was linked with the word "snark" and this particular blogger. So I followed the links back.

Big mistake.

What I found were over 200 comments from women snarking on this particular blogger- disecting everything from her daughter's first-day-of-school outfit to her "fan girls" on instagram. They discussed all their feelings about her without restraint, and some predicted all kinds of ugliness for her future. I should have stopped when I understood the tone of this discussion...this wasn't a place of constructive criticism or even just "recreational gossip". It was hurtful, sometimes slanderous, and really just a lot of wasted dialogue. But my (stupid) curiosity got the best of me, and I kept reading- and found my name and my blog mixed into this "small snark".

I felt my cheeks burning as I read some comments directed at the size of our family, what church my husband pastors- someone had looked up my husband's name and posted a link to our fellowship of churches...someone else took portions of my birth story and copied them and commented that it was remarkably similar to this other blogger. (We had babies the same week and neither one of us knew our daughters would have Down syndrome. I'm willing to bet there are quite a few birth stories that sound similar to ours out there, and I promise I didn't plan Lily's birth and my reaction to reflect someone else's experience. Especially when mine happened before hers.) There were other negative comments, and I recognized one of the women as someone who left a comment here a few weeks ago completely misinterpreting a humorous post I wrote. I stopped reading and left a comment myself (another mistake) sort of defending myself and our family and saying I was sorry I had followed my site meter over.

The next morning I went back to delete my comment - I had slept well at the hotel that night and woke up feeling foolish to have even engaged in that forum. I couldn't find a way to delete my comment, but I did read a few of the responses to mine- one that stood out was simply "get over yourself."


And thus the title of my post.




I've come to a conclusion since reading those words - get over yourself.


She was right.


Maybe it wasn't the nicest choice of words, but that commenter said something that I needed to hear.


Because I really do need to stop focusing on myself. I really do.


I'm just being honest- that handful of comments on some random website had me wanting to quit blogging for a few hours. And as silly as it sounds, it made me want to quit doing anything that "puts our family out there" that would invite criticism. Including ministry, etc.

Because that is how completely over-the-top I respond to criticism, and it has always been the way I respond to negativity. Since I was a little girl I have always had a very, very hard time receiving correction, even when it comes in the most carefully worded conversation. I'm a perfectionist, and as such, I see any words that hold a threat of imperfection as a complete discrediting of anything good in my life.

I have a hard time - a very hard time - seeing the silver linings in life.





I've known this for a long time- prolonged thinking patterns like this can cause really ugly things...anxiety, depression, anger, guilt...and it can make for an unhappy marriage, and an unhappy mama, and an unhappy life. That all-or-nothing mentality is something I have had to daily surrender to God, and I have had to specifically ask Him to help me overcome it. It bleeds over into so many areas in life, and it can ruin a perfectly good day...many perfectly good days...until all I see are the dark clouds hanging above my life instead of the sun shining through in the midst of everything.








I really do believe that having Lily helped me so much- whether God intended that to happen or it just did, the truth is I have changed so much since her birth. It's hard to uphold an image of "the perfect mama" when you're struggling so hard to overcome grief. It's hard for someone who loves to have everything in order reconcile her expectations with a child who has extreme limitations, no matter how much I fight against those. Lily is who she is, and I cannot get past her extra chromosome no matter how hard I try. I can give her every single tool I discover to help her in life, but I will never ever make her "normal" - and I say that using the world's standard of normal.



And maybe some of the grieving we do as parents of children with special needs has to do with our own expectations, and our own feelings of limitation. Maybe some of it is that we just need to get over ourselves. I'm not saying there isn't a very real place for grief for the child we thought we were going to have... and the hurt we feel because we just don't want our children to struggle. And when that "magical extra chromosome" comes with a host of medical complications, of course there is cause for fear or stress or disappointment. Nobody hopes for that for their child.



But as far as the other part of grief- the part of me that maybe didn't want to be associated with special needs, didn't want to be "one of those moms", the part that just likes to go quietly unnoticed in life without ever having to deal with people staring or making rude comments or even the part that doesn't like for anyone to think anything negative about me or my family - that's the part that needs to get over herself.





And when I come back to the feeling of wanting to quit - that reaction to a handful of negative comments about me and my blog - what I'm faced with is why am I doing this anyway ? If it's about me, and how everybody perceives me and my family, then I should quit. We are busy enough, we put ourselves out there all the time just being in the ministry, and in all humility and honesty- I'm not that great at blogging anyway :) I'm too politically incorrect, too much into Jesus, too much of an amateur at writing, photography, etc...I'm just a mom.



But I'm also just foolish enough to put myself out there believing that God can use "just a mom" to help change the world. However pessimistic I tend to be, I have just enough of the-glass-is-always-full spirit in me to believe that you don't have to be perfect at this to accomplish something.



After all, Lily's readers have raised over $125,000 to help save orphans with Down syndrome. That's a pretty big deal to me.



Maybe some of you are like me, not high fliers, just moms trying to do the best they can with their families, and squeezing in some time to do something outside their typical sphere of influence. Or maybe like me you have a small blog but a big desire to advocate for Down syndrome or other special needs. Maybe you don't have a blog, but you read and donate and pray and take time to invest yourself in a cause greater than yourself. Maybe you too struggle with trying to "get over yourself" but a lot of times you find yourself just getting in the way.






Last week I had the privilege of meeting one of the orphans I helped fundraise for. I've watched a lot of orphans come home via the internet since I started blogging, but this was the first opportunity I've had to meet one in person. We dropped Mackenzie off at her friend Ashley's house on our return trip from California two Fridays ago, and I got to hold little Kamdyn for a few minutes before we got back on the road.



She was the sweetest little angel, and the whole time I was holding her I kept thinking how ridiculous it was that I let a few little "snarks" affect me the way I did. Really? In the big scheme of things, do I really care that much about what people think about me, that I would let it influence my whole outlook on life? On blogging, on my children, on our family size, on the ministry, on Down syndrome advocacy ? How foolish.


And when I came home to read sweet Jessie's email about the birth of her beautiful little girl Emma, I was so filled with shame. There are people really, truly going through tragedy in life- suffering that is unspeakable, and undoable without the grace of God. And I'm going to sit around feeling sorry for myself because of some negative comments about my blog.



Get over myself indeed.



And I wish I could say that little incident on our trip was the only time I have wanted to quit everything in the face of negativity. But as I said above, this has been a constant battle for me...getting over myself. Those comments weren't the first time I've read or heard rude remarks about myself or our family, and I'm sure they won't be the last. God help me to have the heart of a child, and the hide of a rhinoceros throughout life, and to recognize self pity and stop it in its tracks. God help me to get over myself. There are bigger issues in life than what other people think about me.





So there you have it. My thoughts spilling out onto the keyboard in a jumbled mess, but I do feel better now that they're here. And maybe I won't change any hearts out there, but the heart that needed to change sure feels better right now.


GOMI cats if you're reading this- thank you. Point taken, lesson learned.


laura, lily, and kamdyn  


Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about these things.
Philipians 4:8

53 comments:

Sarah J said...

I'm so glad I came across this blog, and in particular this post...I often struggle to 'get over myself' too but I guess we can only lean on God and ask him for his help :) by the way I think you're very blessed to have ten-going-on-11 beautiful children...I would love to have abig family too!! Xx

Mama Bear said...

I never comment but I wanted to take a minute to give you a virtual hug and a mommy high five. I found your blog by accident and I've been thankful for it everyday since. I've laughed with you, I rolled my eyes with you and most recently I've cried with you. 1 thing that I'm struggling to learn as a mommy myself is that for every turd with stinky words there are a dozen or more flowers to focus on. that might not be the perfect analogy but I'm sure you understand what I mean. Step around the stinky stuff and focus on the pretty :) just like my 2 year old says"I won (run) away from stinky!!" thank you for sharing with us everyday

Rebecca said...

I get what you are saying, but I don't think it's a matter of you "getting over yourself" rather than having the confidence to not let petty people affect you. They're not friends or family or anyone else that matters in your life - they're welcome to their nasty opinions, they mean nothing to you. People like that are not worth your time - you have much more important things to be thinking about :)

Race Bannon said...

That was ALOT of words, and after tomorrow, I will read them...but you know what I'm going to say Pat, "Who cares." I laugh - tomorrow, when the headlines read what I've done, all the talking behind my back (which I have walked in on countless times), all the comments about the work I've created for others (at their job)...it only drives me harder.

Lorna Mills Carroll said...

Dear Patti

I am usually a reader not a poster but your post today has made me take up my virtual pen.

I found your blog quite by accident through the Instagram user mentioned in your article.

Reading your blog lots of things struck a chord with me. We are the same age I think or close enough. My husband comes from a large family and his younger sister has Down Syndrome. Her diagnosis was several weeks after birth. She is 47 now so we are at at different part of the journey than you.

I have kept reading your blog because I plain and simple like you. (Please don't think that's creepy!) You are honest about the ups and downs of having a special needs child. You come across to me as a really decent hard working mother who is doing the very best she can which is all any of us can do. Your children are a credit to you!

In your latest post you mention being hyper sensitive to criticism. I was very sensitive too when younger, but as I get older life is teaching me that you can't please everyone so you may as well please yourself!!

Incidentally there were a lot of supportive comments re: your blog on the thread you mention but I have no idea how to find them again though.

Your Lily looks to be a fine child who is her family's pride and joy just like all her siblings.

Best wishes to you and yours now and in the future. I for one am an avid reader :)

Lorna xx

Ps I am from Ireland so I hope my Hiberno-English colloquialisms aren't confusing :)

mummalove said...

Great post, Patti. I for one would be very sad if you quit blogging (and completely disagree that you're not very good at it!). I too came across a website recently that dedicated itself to being snarky about a blogger and it just struck me how sad and insecure some people must be to dedicate time to being so negative about someone, especially someone who, in all likelihood, they don't know AT ALL. As much as that kind of nastiness definitely stings, I figure we can't please everyone and it's just not worth lowering ourselves to their standard to give them any extra airtime. I've no doubt you have touched many lives with your beautiful posts and photos (and, oh my stars - $125K!!) and all that beauty, all that good, all that love is what really matters x

Heather said...

Oh Patty I am so happy you blogged this and got it off your chest. But mostly, I am glad that you came to the conclusion that you will not allow the negativity of others ruin it for all of us that LOVE your family, LOVE you, LOVE your writing, LOVE your photography and LOVE Lily. You see, there is a lot of LOVE out here following you and I think that LOVE completely outweighs the negative. So, this morning, I am happy ... happy that you have decided to continue to put yourself out there, to tell Lily's story, to share your family, to share Jesus and to advocate for those that don't have a voice. For all of that, I thank God! I thank God for leading me to your blog, but mostly, this morning, I thank God for speaking to your heart, giving you strength and courage to continue blogging and telling your story because I, for one, will continue following along to learn, to laugh and to sometimes shed a tear. Love you Rice family!! Have a very blessed Monday!!!

cathy said...

My Dear friend,
Keep on keepin on'

xoxo
cathy

ps, Patti I am sending you an email

Katrina said...

Oh gosh how I love this post. I can relate, just in a different way. When my daughter was hurt (brain injury at age 4) she went from a normal, typical child to a disabled one; one who could not walk or talk, one whose facial features looked odd due to paralysis on her right side. And I feel I dealt with this "new" daughter just fine while we lived for months in the rehab hospital. But once we got home and joined the world again, I found myself not wanting to take her to parks or out shopping, or anywhere out in the public for that matter. She enjoyed these things as any 4 year old would, but I couldn't handle the stares we got from others. At parks, it broke my heart to see my 4 year old sitting in the sand with a helmet on her head to protect her still-recovering brain, not able to do much except let the sand run through her fingers, and she'd laugh as if that were the funniest thing to see...knowing that just a few short months ago she was yelling to me from the top of the slides and asking me to push her higher in the swings. It broke my heart to see other children walk by her and stare, curious about her. Adults would stare and then when my eyes met their eyes I would get that condoscending smile that turned my stomach. I stopped going to parks. I just couldn't take it. Then my husband talked to me about it. He said something to the effect that I had to get over myself. It did not feel good to hear that from him, not at all. I felt he didn't understand me. But...he did. He went on to tell me that it wasn't about me--it was about helping our daughter and letting her enjoy life the way she enjoys it at the time. He also told me a little secret that he had learned: if you don't look around at the other people in the park, you'll never know if they are staring, to just focus on our daughter and no one else. So I got over myself -- it took some practice, but I did it.

I know that my blog must get its share of "snarky" comments due to my family size, and I have Site Meter, too. But lucky for me I do not really understand how to use it beyond seeing the visitor count. How to search for things like where the comments originated from is out of my frame of Internet knowledge! I guess that's a good thing, lol.

Lisa said...

Keep. Writing.
Many a day you words and pics have lightened my mood. I am going to mull over the thought of "get over yourself" - I have a feeling I'm going to agree I need to do so as well sometimes!

Lori said...

You are not alone in your struggles....I think everyone has these issues at different levels...I have had to get over myself many times and I have always felt better afterwards ;) you know what's funny though...kind of ironic...the GOMI cats need to take their own advice as well....it is easy to see it in others, not always as easy to see it in ourselves....

Amy said...

I struggle with that very same thing- I'm so glad you shared. The spirit in which those words come across brings only love & healing. You didn't blast those who blasted you- you used your hurt to minister to the rest of us. I'm blessed to read & have a small insight into your heart & your family. Thank you for sharing with us. ((Big hugs!!))

Nina said...

Patti, outstanding post on numerous levels. Your honest and open writing touches the hearts of many and we're all very grateful that you're willing to put yourself out there. I'm a lot older than you and I think what has helped me the most is clinging to the verse about "pleasing God, not man". Keep up the awesome work and know how much you and your family are loved and appreciated!!

my family said...

so glad you did not delete this my friend.hugs

Crystal said...

I can totally relate. Good stuff.

Deanna said...

I never realized how alike we are about the perfectionism thing until I read this post. You are so wise, and I love how you turned this negative situation into a positive one. This is just one of the reasons that I love you. Please don't get tooooo over yourself. Because the Patti that I know is pretty awesome.

teal915 said...

Ok, so first. Girl, your blog ain't small. It's big, and that's why you're getting criticized. My philosophy is you know you're big when people care enough to say bad stuff about you lol. And if you're talking about similarities between your birth story and KH's, mine does too. And it's because those feelings and struggles are so natural to have, so don't sweat it. You're doing something good, and you have done amazing things to help orphans, so don't let anyone get you down. There are kids who are with their family right this second, because of things you have done. And I think you're great : )

Heather said...

You rock. true story. xoxox

Patti said...

heather- that made me laugh :):)

Marietta said...

I love your blog! If I wrote a blog, would it not be about what is meaningful to me? You keep right on marching to God's beat and we will march beside you. There are those who love to suck the joy out of life - you're not one of those - be thankful!

Mrs. K said...

Think of those "snarks" as "sharks" eager to consume. Those people are the devil themselves, they are unhappy with their lot in life and want to make others unhappy. "Misery loves company." Patti, get over those type of people. You know they are not Godly people because they do not "love your neighbor as you love yourself" it shows that they do not even love themselves. Keep looking to the Lord for your strength. Do not even satisfy those sad narrow minded people with rebuffs. You are loved by far more people than not.

sheila said...

Can u give us an update on how baby emmas family is doing?

Patti said...

Sheila- check just a few posts back, there are two posts on this precious family...thank you for asking. oxox

Erin said...

Since a few weeks ago, I vowed to not think about that awful site for two seconds longer. I will say this. Agree with everything you've said. Now on to another topic.

Could Lily BE any cuter? Seriously. All of your children are beautiful and I'm excited to virtually meet number 11. And are those trees BLOOMING outside your sunroom? Wisconsin is still cold and wintery and gray. And Mia is growing out of her 6 month winter clothes and she only has sundresses. SUNDRESSES in 9 months and it's 34 degrees out. Ah, well. I hope you have a great week,Patti! Easter week! Ah! The best!

Blessings! - ekogler

Erica said...

Patti - I can't tell you how much I appreciate your honesty and willingness to share with all of us (your virtual audience of family and friends). Just had to comment on what a wonderful response you posted AND how the lesson didn't get lost on me either. So many of the things you wrote reflect things that I too struggle with, and I'm just so grateful for the perspective, wisdom and guidance. You constantly allow God to work through you and I AM SO GRATEFUL!
xoxoxo James' Mom

andrea said...

I am another reader of your blog, found you by means of another source, maybe Instagram? I can't remember! But I find your posts inspiring and your family lovely. I wish you all the best with all your children and your next delivery and baby.

I have also read things on that horrid gomi site, as a good friend of mine has an entire thread dedicated to her and her blog. The posts are horrible. I am sad for the people that spend so much time reading others words, and then going to that site and forum to say such nasty things. There are so many better things to do with your time and energies! I hope you choose to just forget those posts and words. I also hope the people posting them find a way to be happy with themselves and kind to others.

Thank you for your blog, and I hope you are having a wonderful day!

Ashley said...

I love this, Patti! You and your family are so amazing, and I hope you keep on blogging for years to come :) Thank you SO much for helping us bring Kami home, and I'm so glad you enjoyed meeting her! Love you <3

Mel Persion said...

Please don't quit. I love reading your blog. And your husband looks just fine with the mustache. And Lily is soooo extremely cute, you have to keep going just so we can keep watching her grow.

Tammie said...

I LOVE your new Spring Header, and your blog,don't listen to people like that, they really need to get a life and if it wasn't your blog it would be mine or someone eles's. They really just have to be that kind of people that can not be happy for anyone. Your tree's make me so homesick for spring, but for now we just keep getting snow. Thanks so much for blogging. I also check your childrens blogs and enjoy them.

Anonymous said...

Dear Patti, my sister sent me the link to your blog a few years ago and I've been reading and loving it ever since. I think you are incredibly beautiful, humble and charitable to post this response. I also struggle with perfectionist tendencies so can relate to your wise perspective on that as well. Hang in there and know that you're making a difference- one diaper at a time!

Tara said...

Oh, Patti, my friend, I'm glad you hit publish. I, too, respond so negatively to criticism and I, too, need to get over myself. I've long said, "I just want everyone to have warm, fuzzy feelings toward me." I can't think of anything that affects me more than feeling misunderstood. I want to defend, to justify, to prove my "rightness", instead of humbly bowing out and letting God defend me.

Hugs to you!

Wendy Talley, Portsmouth, VA said...

Patti, I so love your blog. I read it almost everyday since I found it somehow through Reeces Rainbow. I am a Mom of a special needs son who is 10 and has autism. He has been in OT, PT and Speech since 18 months and is doing very well. I really appreciate other parents perspective and guidance and sometimes just the awesome pictures of our kids being kids.

For the one or two negatives I believe you create much more positives. Keep on keeping on and take care of you too.

Cindy said...

Like many have said, I think most of us can relate to rethinking our motives due to bad comments we've received. I heard something at church on Sunday that made me stop and take notice. I didn't even really listen to anything else our pastor said because I was so focused on this, 'You're trying to establish something here on earth, something you can see now.' This earth isn't our final home. I need to remember that life isn't about me. Your post confirmed this, I need to get over myself!

TUC said...

The GOMI Kitty Cats are snarking about you? Wow, you're big time now baby. Glad you were able to "get over yourself" and keep on blogging :-)

Virginia (Jenny) said...

Excellent post from a little mom to many to a bigger mom to many. Love uuuuuu! (I'm not discussing weight size here).

Virginia (Jenny) said...

Excellent post from a little mom to many to a bigger mom to many. Love uuuuuu! (I'm not discussing weight size here).

Apatchworklife.net said...

I was looking for away to send this not as a comment, I wanted to make this more of a private exchange. I actually found you via GOMI. I read it, a lot. The blog that you are talking about is a blog I used to like. Here is the difference, you feel much more real. That blog has put it out their that life is this idilic party in the woods. There is a forcedness that has come, I think at least, because of how big that blog as gotten. The only thing I saw about your blog was comments on the number of children you have. To me, I don't care how many children you have, I will never have that many kids, not my thing, but if you love and take of them, please have all you want. I imagine that you are used to comments like that and should be proud enough of your life that they should not bother you. Your blog has done good and you should be proud, but please do not model yourself after that blog. I understand that you count that person as a friend, and that is all well and good, but you have a very honest blog now. Don't lose that. Don't worry what others are saying about other blogs. That person needs to understand that having that public of a life comes with strings.

I am also going to defend GOMI. I don't post, but I read. Most (I would say 90%) of the people there do say positive or at least not rude things. IF you put your life on the internet, you have be prepared for people to talk about it. Yes, comments are made about clothes, just like we all talk about what Brittany Spears was wearing last week. Criticisms are made about life styles, like the latest Kardaishan scandal. Any rude comments about children directly are quickly shot down by the major posters. It is not internet bullying. Pointing out flaws, inconstancies and out right lies is not bullying. At most it is gossip. None of this was meant to be rude, just honest.

nicole said...

You have a talent for writing and sharing your heart ~ don't stop. I love how you took that comment and turned it into a learning lesson when you could very well have just gotten mad and wallowed. What a great example for all of us ~ sometimes God uses unpleasant situations to teach us something.

Anna Theurer said...

Patti, it isn't a matter of "getting over yourself" but rather those people finding better things to do than bashing fellow mama bloggers. Sadly, we put ourselves out there on the internet for all to read and there will be people who judge us. I know my blog is not as big as yours and I know I do not get the same traffic, but my blog is public and I have been at the end of negativity. Like you, I hone in on those few comments and not the other positive ones. Do not stop blogging! Your blog has inspired others and made positively changes in many people lives. Orphans and parents. Hang in there, mama bear!

Lena said...

There will always be people with small minds. Please, do yourself a favor, and don't pay attention to them.

The Graham Family said...

Amen sister! We all feel like that sometimes. :) Loved this post. I can so relate!!!

Cita King said...

Your blog is a blessing to many! I'm from Pastor Joe Rices church down in San Diego, and I was blessed to be able to go to the parenting class:) you and your husband are great! I love your blog, and happy that I got to meet little lily! God is using you both in amazing ways!

Twilson9608 said...

Patti this is a beautiful post, you always do such an amazing job with your writing! I think it's a shame that those GOMI people have nothing better to do with their time but to waste it bashing others, especially someone like you and your family! Also, what an amazing blessing to be able to meet the girls and to have the opportunity to see how God has used you in someone else's family and life's! I'm glad your still blogging away!!!

Amber T said...

I love this post! Definitely don't stop blogging, you would truly be missed :)

Liz said...

I think when you read a blog, you have to learn discernment: take what is positive and relevant, and leave the rest. I disagree enormously with your political beliefs; I once naively visited two of the blogs you link to on "A Perfect Lily" only to be assaulted with such horrific, racist bigotry I was quite literally reduced to tears. I seriously considered not returning to your blog. However, I realized that the joy I get from seeing pictures and videos and hearing stories of Lily and special kids like her still outweighs the damage of the beliefs endorsed by this blog (at least online...real life is quite a different story). Again, it's all about discernment!

Jane George said...

your blog made my life make sense, it allowed me to truly accept tilly's diagnosis! your blog pulled me from a dark hole, it led me to francine, to bobby. it put me on a plane to the ukraine. your blog made my world so much bigger! you may get over yourself, but i wont ever get over 'you', you changed my landscape for the better and painted a rainbow over it! I love you Patti, please don't go anywhere! xxxx

Jason and Vanessa said...

I LOVE laura and kamdyn's family so much. We were adopting from the exact same place and brought our son home a few months before they brought Kamdyn home. I am so jealous you got to meet them :)

Sorry people were acting crazy and what is it about us that even though we know we should stop reading we just don't?!?! I would have done the same thing but I am so glad it didn't keep you from blogging. God is using this blog for His glory so keep on keeping on!!!

Vanessa

Pogue Mahone said...

I found your blog thru Janine Robinson's.I have to say Lily is so beautiful! What a lovely child!You are so blessed!

Sara P. said...

Patti,

First let me say that I have been a long time reader of your blog and I love it. You are very real and open. I greatly admire your big heart and the money you have helped raised. You have opened my eyes, and I have been a contributor to some Reece's Rainbow families.

And then, of course, there is Lily, who must be one of the cutest children ever.

I do want to say, however, that most of the particular GOMI forum you are referring to is not nasty or 'negative' as some of the comments on this entry suggest. I have never contributed to that site, but I've read it, as I am a former fan of the blogger featured on the site. While some of the GOMI cats are a little mean-spirited (as was the one who told who to 'get over it'), a large percentage of the commentary on that site is very thoughtful social critique about the role blogging plays or ought to play in today's society and touches upon issues of sponsorship, narciscism, family privacy, children's rights, etc. It's very well- written, for the most part, and you, Patti, fared quite well in the discussion.

Anyway, I really don't like it when people say that those who criticize others are 'haters' or 'have small minds.' That's just not true. Sometimes those who criticize are... critics who have something valuable to say. Anyone who spends any time on the GOMI thread you are referring to will see plenty of intelligent criticism, just as your post here was so very thoughtful.

I do hope you keep blogging,
Sara

Michelle Z said...

<3

Jenny Blue said...

I have never posted before but I do try to keep up with your blog. I just wanted to say that I think you are pretty amazing and I love to read your blog. It inspires me to be a better person and mother and like you I don't deal with criticism well. Thank you for this post as it makes me realize that I too need to get over myself and stop worrying about what other people think. Please keep blogging and just know that you help so many people including me!

Jenny Blue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachizzle Kim said...

Amen.
This is my first time on your blog, but truly this post has been a blessing to me. To truly "get over it"- the criticisms, and the hurtful comments to accept the constructive parts and to know there's so much more.
Truly, thank you for sharing your life and what you are learning as we all run in this race together!