If you read my post the other day, you heard the exciting news that an adoption opportunity had presented itself to my oldest son, Jason, and his wife Naomi. Years ago, when they were dating, Naomi found out she could not have children. They have always known God has a baby for them...a baby sent from the stars...but the road to that baby has been long and difficult. They've poured their hearts into foster care- and watching them, as well as my sister and Naomi's sister, give themselves to that system has convinced me that some people just have hearts about a hundred times as big as mine. Because I don't know how you pour your life and love into children, only to have them leave your home...and sometimes that is done knowing those children are at risk again.
How do you take a newborn home from the hospital, love them as your own and have them call you Mama ... knowing the day may come when you hand them over to another person? How do you give your heart away, piece by piece- because these babies deserve every bit of your love for the amount of time they're entrusted to you - knowing the end result is not always adoption? I honestly don't know how you do that- but I've watched my loved ones do the impossible these past few years and wondered if maybe some people should be wearing super heroes capes every day of their lives. If maybe some people are just made of stronger stuff than I am, and their hearts are capable of infinitely more love and compassion than mine.
|Jason and Naomi and their foster baby, K.|
...maybe they're just ordinary human beings with hearts that break just as easily as yours and mine. Maybe they weren't born with an overwhelming amount of love and compassion, but they chose to have their hearts stretched beyond what they thought they could endure. Maybe they took a look at all the risks that life offered and decided some things are just worth it. And that even if it meant having their hearts crushed in the process, they would be making a difference in the lives of children who needed someone with that kind of heart- the kind that says I'm here for you, no matter what.
Two weeks ago, Jason and Naomi were given an opportunity they weren't even looking for at the time. Private adoption is outrageously expensive, and they've been working and saving for the day that they could enter into that. When an agency called with a baby for them- at half the cost of a typical adoption- they jumped at the chance. We've been praying and planning and waiting with nervous hearts for the arrival of that baby sent from the stars, and so many wonderful people gave liberally to help. Naomi and I spent the past week exchanging texts and tearful phone calls, as each heartfelt donation came in...we were blown away at the kindness of loved ones and strangers alike. It's been hard for me as a mama to know I can help raise multiplied thousands of dollars for strangers' adoptions- and not be able to do the same for my own kids. And I do know there is a difference between blogging for the fatherless and blogging for the childless- but I also know that its impossible to measure one kind of hurt against another. And unless you've walked a mile in their shoes...
So last night Jason called me to tell me that the baby they'd been waiting to bring home was no longer available for adoption. Things changed regarding the birth father, and the agency could not continue with the adoption. Time and money have been lost, but greater than that is the loss of a dream that seemed just about to come true for my kids. I absolutely hate watching this process, and yet I do believe with all my heart that there is a baby waiting for them at the end of all this. I just wish I had the power to make that happen today.
The only thing I can think to do is to ask for prayer- for that baby sent from the stars to find its way into their arms - and for those who know and love my kids to consider helping them in any way they can. I do know that finances are limited for so many of us, and I know many of Lily's readers don't have any vested interest in my kids. But for those of you who do know them, and have been praying for and supporting them over the past four years of their journey to adoption...would you consider showing your support for them today?
I promise to be back to blogging about Lily and Down syndrome and orphan rescue in a few days. I hope you understand my desire to help my own loved ones right now.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and love,