Friday, July 13, 2012

when hearts break

Dear Friends,

If you read my post the other day, you heard the exciting news that an adoption opportunity had presented itself to my oldest son, Jason, and his wife Naomi. Years ago, when they were dating, Naomi found out she could not have children. They have always known God has a baby for them...a baby sent from the stars...but the road to that baby has been long and difficult. They've poured their hearts into foster care- and watching them, as well as my sister and Naomi's sister, give themselves to that system has convinced me that some people just have hearts about a hundred times as big as mine. Because I don't know how you pour your life and love into children, only to have them leave your home...and sometimes that is done knowing those children are at risk again.

How do you take a newborn home from the hospital, love them as your own and have them call you Mama ... knowing the day may come when you hand them over to another person? How do you give your heart away, piece by piece- because these babies deserve every bit of your love for the amount of time they're entrusted to you - knowing the end result is not always adoption? I honestly don't know how you do that- but I've watched my loved ones do the impossible these past few years and wondered if maybe some people should be wearing super heroes capes every day of their lives. If maybe some people are just made of stronger stuff than I am, and their hearts are capable of infinitely more love and compassion than mine.

Or maybe....


Jason and Naomi and their foster baby, K.

...maybe they're just ordinary human beings with hearts that break just as easily as yours and mine. Maybe they weren't born with an overwhelming amount of love and compassion, but they chose to have their hearts stretched beyond what they thought they could endure. Maybe they took a look at all the risks that life offered and decided some things are just worth it. And that even if it meant having their hearts crushed in the process, they would be making a difference in the lives of children who needed someone with that kind of heart- the kind that says I'm here for you, no matter what.




Two weeks ago, Jason and Naomi were given an opportunity they weren't even looking for at the time. Private adoption is outrageously expensive, and they've been working and saving for the day that they could enter into that. When an agency called with a baby for them- at half the cost of a typical adoption- they jumped at the chance. We've been praying and planning and waiting with nervous hearts for the arrival of that baby sent from the stars, and so many wonderful people gave liberally to help. Naomi and I spent the past week exchanging texts and tearful phone calls, as each heartfelt donation came in...we were blown away at the kindness of loved ones and strangers alike. It's been hard for me as a mama to know I can help raise multiplied thousands of dollars for strangers' adoptions- and not be able to do the same for my own kids. And I do know there is a difference between blogging for the fatherless and blogging for the childless- but I also know that its impossible to measure one kind of hurt against another. And unless you've walked a mile in their shoes...


So last night Jason called me to tell me that the baby they'd been waiting to bring home was no longer available for adoption. Things changed regarding the birth father, and the agency could not continue with the adoption. Time and money have been lost, but greater than that is the loss of a dream that seemed just about to come true for my kids. I absolutely hate watching this process, and yet I do believe with all my heart that there is a baby waiting for them at the end of all this. I just wish I had the power to make that happen today.

 The only thing I can think to do is to ask for prayer- for that baby sent from the stars to find its way into their arms - and for those who know and love my kids to consider helping them in any way they can. I do know that finances are limited for so many of us, and I know many of Lily's readers don't have any vested interest in my kids. But for those of you who do know them, and have been praying for and supporting them over the past four years of their journey to adoption...would you consider showing your support for them today?

I promise to be back to blogging about Lily and Down syndrome and orphan rescue in a few days. I hope you understand my desire to help my own loved ones right now.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your prayers and love,
Patti

19 comments:

Anna Theurer said...

How devastating for Jason and Naomi :( Of course I will pray and show my support!

Anna Theurer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rochelle said...

So sad for them, but I know God has the perfect child chosen for them in His timing. Praying for their hearts to know His peace as they wait and for them to know that this is just one piece of the story.

Nina said...

I left a message on their blog but I have a question; will the "chipin" donation account be appropriate for any child they adopt or is it limited to this child? I know that many of us would love to continue to contribute; my donation wasn't for that specific child, it was to be a part of bringing a child to them. Praying for their healing and their reassurance that God has a plan for them!

Mallory said...

Patti,

I was so heart broken to see the update from Danielle on their blog this morning. I had finally sent my donation in not an hour before and I was so excited at the thought of their dreams coming true.

I will continue to show my support for them and ask that they do not send my donation back because I too believe that God has a plan for them and will provide.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Hugs and Blessings for all of you.

Patti said...

Nina- the chip-in is available for any child...but if people want their donation returned because they gave for this specific adoption alone, that will happen. Thank you so very much for your support- I cannot put into words how much it means.

lovemy3 said...

Oh, Patti...I just read Danielle's comment on their blog. I'm so sorry that this adoption fell through. I have a dear friend that fosters children and is trying to adopt two of them. I've watched the struggles she has gone through. I'm praying that God send them their forever child soon and heals their hearts from this latest development.

Ashley said...

Heartbroken for them :(
Praying, Jason and Naomi. I love you!

Heidi Ehle said...

So very sad for your kids. Praying as a birth mama myself that someone sees the beauty and love within Jason and Naomi and gives them the chance to be the parents they dream of being.
As always, you are all in my thoughts and prayers (even if I don't speak up much any more!)

cara said...

Oh Patti, this just breaks my heart for them!!!! I have not been online as much lately, and I had not donated to help them yet. But I am still going to donate to help them because I cannot wait for that baby that they are waiting for to be placed in their arms. And even though it may not be an orphan across the ocean heading to an institution, he/she will still be an orphan that needs a loving family, and I cannot think of a more wonderful couple to adopt a baby. I will be praying for ALL of you right now. xoxo Love to you all!!

cara said...

Just went and donated. I read on her blog about giving all the money back that was donated; I sure hope nobody wants their money back. I just pray for more and more money to flood in for them for this precious baby to be placed in their arms fast.

Amy said...

Patti,
I am so sorry. Praying for all of you!
Love, Amy

vermonter said...

Patti, I have been a follower of their blog for along time and I have wondered for a long time if it is going to be a possibility for them to ever get a chance to adopt baby K? I would be so happy if that was possible. What could be any better than them to have the precious baby that they have raised since day 1. Oh I hope that happens, they deserve him but more than that HE DESERVES THEM. His one and only mommy and daddy. In every picture they look like a perfect family. I understand if you feel like this is to personel to answer but I have wondered this for a long time and continue to pray for that so if it is not possible maybe I should change my prayer to a new baby.

mrsodie2 said...

I'm confused. Are they losing the foster baby in the picture in addition to the adoption. I cannot imagine the devastation. I'm so sorry. They are so young and I know they will have their children, but that doesn't lessen the pain.

Patti said...

vermonter, and mrs.odie too...Baby K is still in their care, and has been since they brought him home from the hospital (he just had his first birthday party :)) Because of being a public blog, we have to be careful about posting too many details, so things might not always come across right. Basically he is coming up on being available for adoption (if the mom continues to disregard taking steps to being able to parent him one day) and they would absolutely love that opportunity. However, it is a waiting game, and while we always pray the birth mom gets her act together, we also deal with the reality that it is not happening. Sooo...we wait...and keep praying :) Mrs. Odie, the baby I was referring to was Baby Ariah, who is due to arrive any day. The birth mother was giving him up, Jason and Noami signed papers to enter a contract for adoption, paid money...and the birth father decided he wanted to fight the mom for custody. Even though he's known all along about the pg and never offered support. Apparently you can step in during the final hours and declare your fatherhood and the adoption is called off. Heartbreaking- but thank God he did this now and not after Jason and Naomi brought that baby home for a year.Anyway- thank you so much for asking and caring about my kids :)

Amy, a redeemed sheep said...

My heart goes out to them....I am so, so sorry.

Cindy said...

So heartbreaking. We'll continue to keep them in our prayers.

Marci said...

Oh Patti! I'm so sorry! Will continue to keep Jason and Naomi in my prayers, and will be praying for Baby Ariah as well, that God's plan for her life trumps anyone else's plans!

Lacey said...

My heart breaks for them. As a mom that had 4 kids, and adopted one more in a fairly easy manner, i have no idea what they are going through! But I can't imagine not being able to have children. It is the greatest gift God can give you. Their child(ren) are out there, and someday they will be parents!