The other day I was reading my feedjit...it's a tool on my blog that shows where visitors are coming from. I love to look at it from time to time, because my Lily gets visitors from all over the world- Finland, South Africa, Singapore, and more. Most of the time it just tells where a visitor came from, but sometimes it will show keywords that someone used to search for Lily's blog. Things like "Down syndrome absent nasal bone" or "ultrasound picture Down syndrome." I can just imagine what those moms are looking for...because I did the same thing when I was pregnant with Lily. With so many markers showing up on her ultrasound, and a decision not to have an amnio, I wanted to do my own "research". So I would google things just like that and hold Lily's ultrasound picture up to the ones I saw online, wondering if my baby's profile matched what I saw.
And you know why I would do that, dear Australian visitor?
Because I was scared.
And I have a feeling you know that feeling well...otherwise why would you come here by using these search words:
positive outcomes of aborting a child with down syndrome.
17:39:38 -- 16 minutes ago"
And so I just want to tell you, mama to mama....
DON'T DO IT.
I know the future is so uncertain right now.. maybe because of the stereotypes you might have in your mind about life with Down syndrome. And even if you don't know those stereotypes, sometimes just the not knowing is the hardest part of all. What will my life be like after this, what's about to change and how will I cope? Believe me, I know. I've been where you are.
And maybe right now you're reeling, and this choice seems like such an easy one to make...
...or maybe not so easy. Or else why would you come searching here for a "positive outcome to aborting a child with Down syndrome" ?
Can I tell you that you really have no idea what you'd be missing?
Because maybe you haven't had the privilege to see what I see every day, to know what I've been blessed to know over the past two and a half years. I'm pleading with you....
DON'T DO IT.
Because life is a gift, and this gift? Isn't something you want to toss aside.
Sure, it's your choice. You probably even have professionals encouraging you to make it. "She'll be a burden to society," they might be telling you, "and what about your other kids?"
Yes, what about them? Do you really want them to miss out on this....
Because you can't undo it, you know. Once that choice is made, there's no going back. And maybe you'll trade fear for relief, maybe for a little while you'll feel certain that you did the right thing- the thing that was best for everyone, her included....
But what will you really gain? Because I guarantee some day, if not now, maybe later, you'll come face to face with this face....
...and you'll wonder "what did I really give up? Fear of the unknown? Temporary anxiety and grief? Or did I trade it all for the lasting pain that comes from wondering what I could have had, who she would have been ?"
And I'll just tell you firsthand- you'll be missing out on one of the greatest gifts life could give you. Sure, she might not come in the package you imagined. She might take a little bit longer to do things the way "they" say she should be doing them. She'll have her challenges and struggles, no doubt.
But she'll teach you things you never imagined, twist and turn your heart in ways you never knew it could go, she'll wrap your whole being around that little crooked pinky, and she won't let go.
She's not a burden to be feared or a problem to be fixed, I'm begging you-
DON'T DO IT.
There is a positive outcome for your situation....
Don't throw her away.