Wednesday, April 11, 2012

from my heart

I almost posted this yesterday, but I hit delete after drafting it...because I dread sounding like a drama queen, or like life is all about me.

But today I am feeling in great need of prayer, so I'm going to put this out there and hope people know my heart.

I took misoprostol this morning to start this miscarriage. I'm 9 weeks and 3 days, and we've known for weeks our baby died. Unfortunately my body doesn't know it yet. This medicine will bring this scary and sad chapter to an end, which although hard right now, in the long run is for the best.

I wish I was a little bit more brave...but truthfully I'm scared. I've had several big crying jags in the last 24 hours leading up to this, and the worst isn't over yet. I really could use the prayers of my friends and family right now, so I'm putting my pride aside to ask.

I have a post I'm working on for Friday- I have had many requests from readers who need help with their adoptions, and I had to turn so many down the past few months in order to focus on the Jolly's adoption. One of the things that really helps me when I'm worried or upset is to take my eyes off my own problems and put them on someone else's need. The post I'm working on is very therapeutic for me, and I am praying it helps these families get some of the help they need.

I was going to feature one of these families in Friday's post, but I heard a little rumor that they could really use some encouragement today. I met Jennifer Willis through blogging last year- Jennifer actually found out about Reece's Rainbow through Lily's blog and is now in the process of adopting two beautiful little girls with Down syndrome as a result. And if that isn't encouraging enough, she lives 45 minutes away from me...which means some day I actually get to meet some of these precious orphans I've been blogging for. Talk about rewarding !

Emilie and Abigail


So I have two favors to ask readers today...and I know I'm always asking for favors, so I hope I haven't worn out my welcome with you. The first is that you pray that this medicine works speedily and as pain-free and complication-free as possible. Pray that I can recover quickly and be the mama I need to be to my children. And pray for my emotions...because I'm pretty much a wreck today. I hate admitting that, but this isn't fun.

And secondly, will you help Jennifer and her husband today? They're doing a puzzle fundraiser, and it's so easy to help....just $5 to buy a puzzle piece to help bring their girls home. I know how easy it is to throw $5 away...a latte and a tip, a magazine, a burger and fries...and we wouldn't think anything of it. Will you take the time to bless this family? It would really brighten my day too...it probably sounds very selfish, but if I saw that chip-in go up it would go a long way to helping my emotions as well:)

Thank you as always for your incredible hearts for orphans, and thank you ahead of time for your prayers.

Lots of love,

Patti

36 comments:

Becky said...

Will so definitely be praying for you. I had a miscarriage at eight weeks, and even though I did not take medicine, I understand the emotional road you are on. I am glad you posted because then we can pray for you. God will take care of you and that little angel who is with Him now. Love to you.

Deanna said...

Praying for you Patti!

Becki Little said...

Patti, I just posted about my miscarriage today. I must have felt your angst. To say I was scared to take that medication was an understatement. It all went okay. Has your Doctor told you what to expect after? My Doctor told me nothing and it was so scary. Please take a deep breath, I did this when my baby was nearly 14 weeks old. I think 9 weeks old might be a little quicker/easier on your body, not on your psyche of course. I am praying and I am totally here for you!!

Meriah said...

Big, big love your way, Patti. Lots of healing prayers too.

xo
and now I"m going to donate.

Ashley @ The Hillside Home said...

Praying for you, Patti. My heart is heavy for you today. You are so courageous in your sharing... and thank you for giving us the privilege of lifting you up in prayer.
And I hope it bring a smile to your face that a bunch of us are heading over and buying up puzzle pieces!!! XO

Anna Theurer said...

Of course I am praying!

Becca said...

You should *never* worry about asking for something for yourself like that, Patti. Thinking of you today... (((hugs)))

Penny's Peeps said...

Oh my friend.... Praying for you during this time..... Donating too..... Love and hugs.....

Jennifer said...

Thank you SO much....you have no idea how much this means to me. Exactly the encouragement I needed today as well!! I'm now a sobbing mess - and have to teach a class of 1st and 2nd graders music in 20 minutes!!!

cathy said...

we are praying for you, here, at the Hanlon Home...

donated, as well

xoxo
cathy

Marci said...

Prayers going up for you, Patti. And virtual hugs headed your way. Wish I could do more for you!!

Karly Jaco said...

aw Patti, what you are going through is so tough. keeping you in my prayers.

and the willis family...oh Jen is use awesome isn't she. I'm so glad that you are helping them out and raising awareness for their adoption. They are such an awesome couple. Praying that this post bring a lot of added support for them!

Mrs. K said...

Mom prays for you daily Sweetie, and for Sam and the children. St. Paul told us to pray constantly and that is just what I do: for our family, for the orphans, for our people in the armed forces. The list goes on and on. But am praying especially for you and your little angel today. Remember, God is your strength as well as your salvation.

Jenn said...

Sending you hugs and prayers! Will post about Jen tonight when I get home. Gonna go grab a puzzle piece :)

Lisa said...

You are in my heart and thoughts, Patti.

katekopp said...

Lots of prayers for you and your family today Patti - and a puzzle piece in honor of your angel. Hugs!! Kate

Katrina said...

Patti,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying that you will be able to heal quickly.

Katrina
Carlene's soon to be momma :)
www.operationorphannomore.blogspot.com

Runningmama said...

I will be praying for you. I also had to take the medicine because my body didn't recognize that I had miscarried as well. It wasn't very painful physically, but you are right, it's tough stuff emotionally. I will be thinking of you and hoping that things go as smoothly as possible with the medicine.

Pam said...

I'm so sorry Patti...lifting you up in prayer during this difficult time.

Rochelle said...

Oh my dear friend I am covering you in prayer. Much love and understanding coming to you from us! Love you!

Jennifer said...

You don't sound like a drama queen at all! Hope you feel supported by prayers the next few days and weeks.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious little one! Romans 12 came to mind, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."

I have sadly walked a similar road with the loss of our B.J. My body took months (medication and operations) to let go. Praying for peace through the process.

Ann

lovemy3 said...

Prayers your way! My body took care of my miscarriage, but the emotions were so out of control and so intense. You will never wear out your welcome!

Cindy said...

Patti, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family.

cara said...

Oh Patti- I hate what you are going through. You know I am praying!! And I will go donate. Love to you.

Sandryte said...

Prayers and wishes to you! This is so painful, so sad.. I hope you will find peace soon and your recovering will be quick. We love you!

6cuorieunacasetta said...

Oh. I will be praying fpr you.

lauriez said...

Praying for you. I am so sorry you are having to go through this.

Sylvia said...

praying for you.

Kristi said...

Sending some prayers your way.... im so sorry for your loss!!

Kiara Buechler said...

I will be thinking of and praying for you today Patti.

Lisa said...

When I'm having a bad day, my sweethearts are in bed and need to smile I frequently look at your blog. Absolutely I will help anytime you ask. Prayers for you & your family today and a donation to the two sweeties is asking so little.

Stephanie said...

Praying for you and thinking of you and your beautiful family. Thank you for always sharing your heart with us all. You faith in the Lord is inspiring.

tekeal said...

sending love... take good care.

5boysand1girlmake6.com said...

many many prayers your way. I am so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you! Much love Katie

my family said...

i know Im a day late but Im praying for you my sweet friend...love your kind heart