It is just past midnight...and officially your birthday!
It's been a pretty emotional week for Mama. I've been thinking for days about what this special day meant to us..the day you entered our lives. One year ago I was up late, looking at all of the wonderful gifts I received at your baby shower that night. The day had been such a roller coaster- a perfect reflection of my whole pregnancy with you.
We had spent the morning at the doctor's office, as they wanted to do a third stress test for the week. You were moving so slowly all week, and your doctors were getting very concerned, with three weeks left to go til your due date.
You didn't pass your morning stress test, so Dr.Boyle decided to send us for an ultrasound to see what you were doing. Based on the results, she would decide whether or not to induce me. Your shower was planned for that night, so everybody was waiting on the ultrasound results to see whether we could have a party ..or have a baby. After scoring all your "points" on your ultrasound, Mama's doctor decided we were okay for the weekend...
...but you had other plans!
Grammi and Aunt Hopie had flown to Oregon from Arizona to surprise us at your shower- and I honestly have never been so surprised in my life. I remember staring blankly at them when I opened the door...how could I not have recognized my own mom and sister?! It still makes me laugh today to think what I must have looked like, standing there with a blank look on my face.
And it still amazes me when I think of the odds of going into labor on my own, less than 12 hours after they arrived here. They were only staying a day...you must have really wanted Grammi and Aunt Hopie to witness your birth, Lily.
But in all actuality..I truly believe God knew I needed my sister and mama there on the most difficult, but most beautiful, the most soul-stretching day of my life.
The day I had you.
It's been a life changing year for us, Lily.
You and I have grown in so many ways, and I am more in love with you today than I ever thought possible. You have taught me that the little things in life truly do mean the most. You have stretched my heart when I didn't think it could stretch anymore. You have made me a better person just by being you...my sweet and perfect Lily.
You have touched so many lives in your short year with us, and I know you will continue to do the same all the days of your life. You have wrapped our entire family around your crooked little pinky, and you have given us new eyes to see a world of children who are just like you..children like Olga and Kareen and countless others..we never would have known if we hadn't been given you.
Lily, I said it in a letter to you when I first started writing here...
Baby, whoever you are, know this. You are loved. You are cherished, and longed for, and prayed for, and treasured, and so so loved. I don't care what you have, how many chromosomes, how many "defects", Mommy and Daddy will take care of you and do all that we can to show you how very loved you are.
On this, your very first birthday, I want you to know that next to salvation, you are the best gift that God has ever given to me. I love you with all my heart, Lily Anne. I don't deserve to be your mama, but I am so thankful that God blessed me with that privilege.
Happy birthday, to my beautiful little girl...
I love you.
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Loving you forever and always,
P.S. Allison was picked by random.org as the winner of the fingerprint necklace :)