I was looking at the pictures of your birth today, since I am putting together a slide show about you, set to music. I saw this photo, and it just made my heart hurt, it is so precious. It is of your sister, Mackenzie, delivering you. I love how you are looking up at her- everyone in the room said you were just WIDE EYED, looking all around when you were born. That moment is one of the happiest moments of my life. Such relief that you were finally safely in our arms- your big sissy's arms! That last week before you were born was so filled with anxiety...counting kicks, making sure you were moving, listening to your heartbeat at home on our doppler when we weren't sure..fetal stress tests, ultrasounds...all just to make sure you were okay.
I keep thinking about your early arrival. The night before you were born I felt an urgency that you arrive quickly. I remember praying, "Lord, please let Lily be born soon, if she is at all in danger, please let me have her soon." And the next morning I was in full-blown labor! I wonder when we get to Heaven if we will find that your tiny life was hanging in the balance. You were getting so sluggish...and when the doctors determined after you were born that your blood was too thick...well, I just don't know how long you could have gone like that. Knowing that babies with downs AND babies of moms over forty have a higher still-birth rate, makes me all the more thankful for you arriving three weeks early.
I am so thankful too, that all of my older children were present for your birth. Jason, Naomi, Josiah and Mackenzie all helped me so much just by being there. They were so supportive, as Mama was extremely emotional prior to delivering you. I don't know why- maybe because all the months of wondering about you were coming to a climax...and I was emotional knowing you would be my last baby. Having your older siblings there in the room with me meant more than words can say.
How can I ever convey to them how much I love them? I wish I had the words to tell them how being there that morning was the greatest gift they could give me. My children and your daddy mean more to me than anything in the world... I am so, so thankful that God has blessed me so abundantly with so many children. I am a RICH woman, and I wouldn't trade my life for all the money in the world.
One more miracle to share...in October our hospital instituted a new policy for the maternity ward. Because of the H1N1 virus, every mom would be allowed only 2 visitors during her entire stay in the hospital. So only 2 people could accompany her in labor and delivery- and only those 2 people would be allowed to visit her and the baby even after delivery. This included fathers! Every doctor visit I would ask if that policy had been lifted, or if they anticipated it being lifted before you were due. Every time I was told the same thing- the policy remained, and would remain until at least April. Everyone anticipated a new wave of the swine flu in January, so nothing would change until the hospital was sure they were past the peak of the flu season.
The Monday before I had you, Lily, I called the hospital to ask if the ban had been lifted. I had not heard much about the flu on the news, so I just called on a whim. And guess what? THAT DAY the ban had been lifted! So when I went into labor on Saturday, everyone was allowed in the room with me!!
I cannot imagine going through all that we went through alone. It was not even certain if Mackenzie would have been allowed in the room, as she is only 17- the ban had restricted anyone under 18 from being in the maternity section.
I am just so amazed and thankful that the ban was lifted, and that I could be surrounded by the people I love. ..and that you could be welcomed into the world by a crowd of fans, dear Lily!!
Time to get you ready for bed, sweet little girl...
Your Mama oxox