Friday, October 16, 2009

Good morning, Baby Lily! Here's a picture of you in Mommy's tummy. You are making me fatter than any previous pregnancy...but I don't care! This is probably my last, so I may as well live large!! haha.
I ran into Cynthia Dort in the Safeway parking lot last night. I haven't seen her in over a year. Her daughter, Kari, has downs. She attended school with Kenzie for many years, and all of your siblings ADORE her. She is so funny and cute, and she has the most endearing smile and laugh. Cynthia had her at 41, and she told me last night she had no indication that Kari had downs, until she was born. AND Kari has no heart conditions, never has. Ironicially, Cynthia was pregnant at the same time as one of her good friends, whose baby did have the av canal....and her baby was born without downs. Just goes to show that statistics are just that- statistics.
I have to write about a few funny things- because when you read this some day, I don't want you to think we went around during my pregnancy with you with this "heaviness" or worry or cloud hanging over us or something. For the most part I just feel like I'm having a normal pregnancy, with some things to pray about thrown in now and then. More ultrasounds than usual, but still the feeling that I always have- I love being pregnant!
So here is a little humor...
Today when Abbi was praying for you on the way to school she said, "And God I just pray that Lily would come out in good shape." :) Your younger brothers and sisters don't know anything about your heart, etc. But I thought that was such a cute prayer.
Also...when I was showing your u/s picture to people at church, everyone was commenting on how you look just like all our other children already.
I have to say I really, really appreciate people encouraging me and saying things like "Your baby does not have downs!" or "We are going to pray against that!" when they hear you might have downs. I know they are just having faith, and I know they are well intentioned...but I guess I just keep thinking- what if you already do have downs? What are they going to say when you are born? I don't want anyone feeling sorry for you, or for us...I don't want anyone thinking "what a tragedy."
I mean- realistically- there ARE downs babies born every day. So did their parents just not pray hard enough? Not have enough faith? No, reality is- we live in a fallen world. Things happen every day that are not God's "perfect plan". Kids get leukemia- kids with praying parents!- and I don't believe that is God's "will" for those kids to be so sick and die! I just believe this is earth- this isn't Heaven! So we pray, we do believe God, but we also know there are hard realities that people have to deal with every day. I think about the young girl here in Corvallis who was kidnapped and murdered- that wasn't God's plan. So even though I am hoping you don't have downs- I mean, what parent would hope that for their child? Truthfully, it's a life-time of caring for your child, someone will always need to help someone with downs with every day needs. ...I am still believing that whatever life deals me- God is going to help us. So maybe that's what people mean when they say "your baby does not have downs". Not that they would think any less of you Lily- but they know what extra "burdens" that places on parents, medically, physically, emotionally, etc...and that is what they are praying we are spared.
Well, this was supposed to be a humorous post, and I ended up getting philisophical on you:) No matter what, Lily- this pregnancy has caused me to think a little more carefully before I speak to people, and to pray harder for parents of special needs children. And realize how much people love us and do pray for us. What a blessing to have so many wonderful friends and loved ones. You're going to be born into an awesome network of people praying for you, Lily!!!
Time to get the house in order...your big sister Mackenzie is telling me as I type, "I can't run this campaign by myself!!!!" :)
Love always,
Mama oxoxox

1 comment:

Becky said...

When I was pregnant people used to always ask,"Do you want a boy or a girl?" and I would always say "it doesn't matter." and they would always say"As long as it's healthy."And I would ALWAYS Say"Even if it's not healthy I will always love my baby!"
That is a Mother's love :)